My wife is asking ME to leave after I caught her in bed with a female friend

18.06.2020 22:04

TheSun.co.uk

DEAR DEIDRE: I FOUND my wife in bed with her best friend, another woman, and now she’s asked me to leave. It’s breaking my heart.

We’ve been together for almost ten years and have two boys, aged eight and five.

Getty - ContributorMy wife is asking ME to leave after I caught her in bed with a female friend[/caption]

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I knew my wife had had relationships with women as well as men before we met.

But she vowed I was the only one for her when we married. She’s 37 and I’m 40.

We bought a house and when the boys were born I thought that nothing would rock our world.

My mother was discharged from hospital after a small op just as lockdown started.

She’s 72. I drove her home and planned to stay a few days to settle her in at home but she was on surprisingly good form.

The second afternoon she told me she’d be fine, and that I should go home. I left during the evening, thinking I’d give my wife a nice surprise, so I didn’t call ahead.

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ONE in four wives and two in five husbands are open to having sex with others without ending their marriage. But are there risks?

My leaflet Swinging And Swapping looks at pros and cons.

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The house was in darkness when I got in, so I crept upstairs hoping to slide into bed with her.

I pushed the bedroom door open and there was a side light on, and I could see my wife with her eyes closed. She was moaning and somebody was clearly under the covers.

I felt sick, thinking it was another bloke. But then she saw me and screamed, and her best mate emerged from under the duvet.

She’s 31 and has a daughter the same age as our eldest. My wife yelled at me to get out. They both came downstairs and her mate left, looking deeply embarrassed.

My wife says she loves me but she’s in love with her friend.

She knows her mate won’t leave her partner, the father of her children, but says there’s so much tension in the house now it may be better for her and the boys if I leave.

I love her and I don’t want to go, or leave my family. What should I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder you are in turmoil. But tell your wife you will get help so you are calmer, rather than leaving home at what must already be a stressful time for your sons.

If your wife’s lover won’t leave her partner, how much of a future is there in their relationship anyway? Will their affair collapse when he finds out?

Or is the real issue that your wife has realised she is more gay than straight? Being bisexual does not excuse cheating – or risking her family’s health with the virus – but obviously it can lead to some hard choices.

My e-leaflet on Bisexual Issues can help and explains where you can both find counselling to help you handle this crisis in the best way possible for your sons’ sakes.