Game Of Thrones: The Lannisters, Ranked Most To Least Likely To Die In A Horror Movie
Of all of the many noble houses that appear in Game of Thrones, House Lannister is, without a doubt, one of the most cunning and ruthless. Time and again, they show that they are willing to do absolutely anything so that they can remain in power, even if that means crushing members of their own family.
However, as clever as they are, it’s still a little unclear just how well they might fare if they were to be suddenly plopped down in the middle of a horror film. While some would fare well, some would be pretty likely to be killed off quickly and brutally.
10 Lancel
Poor Lancel. Seduced by Cersei into believing that he had a chance with her, he did some truly heinous things, including taking a hand in Robert’s death by goring. Unfortunately, he also showed that, deep down, he was something of a coward and a fool.
Pretty as he was to look at, he’d be precisely the type of person who would get bumped off in a horror film pretty quickly, mostly because he’d be too silly to save himself.
9 Myrcella
Of all the members of House Lannister, Myrcella is in some ways the one innocent member. She doesn’t seem to have a mean bone in her body, and for this reason, she probably wouldn’t stand too much of a chance in a horror film.
Assuming that she could even be convinced that there was a monster or a killer on the loose, she doesn’t really have the kind of survival instincts that would allow her to live to see the end of the film.
8 Tommen
Like his younger sister, Tommen is a bit of a softy, inclined to do whatever it is that he’s told to do, first by his mother and then by his wife Margaery. This doesn’t mean that he’s a bad person; he’s just a bit weak and unable to stand up for himself.
He’d be the kind of person in a horror film that wouldn’t be able to decide what to do, and that would ultimately make him easy pickings for any kind of monster or killer that came his way.
7 Joffrey
One of the most satisfying moments in the history of the show was the Purple Wedding, in which Joffrey was poisoned and his reign of terror, over both Sansa and the kingdom, was brought to an end.
Joffrey is the type of person who would be a total jerk in a horror movie, always being mean to everyone else. He’s also exactly the kind of person that the killer would take out, even as the audience cheers him on in doing so (he is, after all, one of the worst villains in the show).
6 Kevan
Kevan, unlike some of the other members of his family, seems to have a good head on his shoulders and is definitely one of the more likable Lannisters. For this reason, he becomes a very loyal lieutenant for his brother Tywin, who comes to rely on his steady hand.
However, just because he’s not a complete lunatic doesn’t necessarily mean that he would have what it takes to survive in a horror movie. In fact, he’d be one of those people who would refuse to believe in the monster until it was too late.
5 Cersei
At first glance, it probably seems like Cersei would be one of the first to get taken out by the horror movie villain, precisely because she insists on being so arrogant and set in her ways (getting worse as the show goes on).
However, it seems more likely that she’d be the type to survive pretty far along in the film until she’s finally taken out, just when she thinks that she’s going to make it out alive. Which, come to think of it, is basically what happened to her in the show, as well.
4 Jaime
As good of a warrior as he is, Jaime is only marginally more likely than Cersei to survive very long in a horror movie. For one thing, he’s far too willing to put himself in harm’s way (usually for his pride), and he also has some other notable lapses in judgment (which, as with Cersei, got worse and worse as the show went on).
If nothing else, it seems pretty likely that he might get taken out either trying to defend Cersei from being killed or trying to avenge her death. He is, after all, not always the brightest star in the galaxy.
3 Tywin
There’s no question that Tywin is one of the smartest members of his family. After all, he was the one who managed to orchestrate the Red Wedding and almost single-handedly destroyed the Stark family and its power, just one of many horrible things his family has done.
He’s the kind of person that would make it most of the way through the horror movie just by being smart enough to avoid getting himself killed unnecessarily. However, he’s also the type that would get killed just when it seemed to him and the audience that he would be one of the ones to make it out alive.
2 Joanna
Though she doesn’t really appear in the show, it’s pretty clear that Joanna was a formidable member of the Lannister family. She’d have to be, in order to survive living with Tywin (even though it was clear that they were very much in love with one another).
From what the audience learns of her, she was apparently fiercely intelligent and independent, which means that she would very likely be one of the final girls of horror that manage not only to survive the slaughter of her friends but actually ends up killing the horror villain. Art via EnjoyTheBlood.
1 Tyrion
At last, there’s Tyrion. Of all of the members of his family, he manages to survive the longest. Considering all of the things that he has to go through before the series ends, that’s really no small accomplishment and the fact that he becomes one of the most powerful men in the kingdom is a testament to his ability to survive when lesser people fall.
In that sense, he would also be one of the characters that would survive to the end of a horror movie (and, given his penchant for speeches, he'd probably give a good one to celebrate). It would take more than an ax-wielding murderer to take down someone like Tyrion Lannister.