One of the most hated individuals in America, Ted "Dracula" Cruz has just been named "The Asshole of The Year" by The US Proctologists Guild. Cruz joins other assholes of the year such as Donald "The Orange Whale" Trump, Ann "Horse Face" Coulter,…
Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti has stated that retail stores Walmart, Target, and Fiddle Faddle have all run out of the new WNBA panties. Confetti noted that the new undies come in sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL, and XXXL - though, good luck finding t…
Ipso Facto News writer Sinclair Petaluma, said the FBI has surveillance video of Trump stealing silverware from the White House kitchen. Petaluma personally took an independent poll of Trump supporters, and he found that only 7% say that they woul…
The lipstick industry has just gotten the biggest boost since waterproof lipstick as "Sultry," by Cover Chick Cosmetics has just hit the cosmetic market. According to a representative with CCC, the new lipstick has several secret ingredients that…
Hold onto your scarves footy fans because King Charles recently spilled the beans to none other than our roving reporter, Petula Tart, from The Ta Ta For Now News Agency. And what's all the buzz about? A little bit of football, a lot of royalty, and…
Elon Musk and his ingenious team at Tesla Motors have once again left the world agog with their latest creation â the ultra-modern Tesla Transformer Convertible! Musk, the wizard behind the wheels, proudly announced that the new convertible featur…
Weirdo News: In an ironic twist, former doctor Larry Nasal was attacked in prison after a comment he allegedly made while watching the women's Wimbledon tennis tournament, according to sources familiar with the case. He confessed to having a crush on…
In a surprising twist that had Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle's eyebrows reaching for the stars, she dared to ask the towering Khloe Kardashian about a peculiar rumor circulating in the celebrity cosmos â was she really dating a hitma…
President Biden recently commented at a dinner in honor of America's number 1 spy, code name: Lady Chatterley, that he wishes the US had half a dozen female spies, as talented, as gorgeous, and as sexy as LC. She has dated Russian President Vladim…
One of Al-Qaeda's leading spies, Hanji Mir Azis was recently arrested as he sat in Yankee Stadium watching a game between the Yanks and the world champion Houston Astros. Mir Azis is considered to be one of the world's most prolific spies, who has…
