I was suicidal over fat pouches made from breast tissue under my armpits – I would never let boyfriends see me topless
A WOMAN who developed two pouches of breast tissue under her armpits in her teens has revealed the “extra boobs” took over her life.
Phoebe Ellis, 22, hid under baggy T-shirts and never allowed boyfriends to see her topless – because of her third and fourth boobs, which were separate from her 32GGs.
But she was refused NHS surgery for a decade because the work was considered “cosmetic”, despite the pouches leaving Phoebe suicidal.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous Digital, Phoebe, from Hitchin, Herts, said: “I felt like a monster. I couldn’t even look at myself because I had these weird deformities.
“I was so embarrassed and ashamed thinking I was a freak. I was scared in case anyone found out so hid beneath baggy T-shirts and jumpers. I was left traumatised by my own body.”
Her sex life was hugely impacted and Phoebe, who works as a photographer and camera operator, never felt comfortable getting intimate with boys.
She said: “The boyfriends I had would have no idea I had them. I would never ever show them. I could never feel comfortable with someone because I was ashamed of them thinking I was a freak.
“I never felt sexy. I never felt wanted. I felt weird and gross. Even when getting intimate I would wear baggy tops.”
Phoebe was with her first love between the age of 16 and 18 – and was honest with him about her insecurities.
I felt like a monster. I couldn’t even look at myself because I had these weird deformities
Phoebe Ellis
She said: “When the letter came saying I couldn’t have surgery on the NHS, I was so devastated and I confided in him.
“I said it was the worst thing about me. He was my first love and he was trying to get my barriers down and making sure I didn’t feel insecure.
“He was really supportive when I told him and was a lovely boyfriend.
“When we broke up, I didn’t want to go through the whole thing of explaining it to someone else.”
Phoebe feared she had cancer when two tennis ball sized lumps grew under her left armpit, at the age of 12.
Her GP told her they were nothing to worry about, but Phoebe spotted a similar growth under her right arm three years later.
She was left too ashamed to go swimming or wear strappy tops. Despite begging doctors to tell her what was wrong, Phoebe waited 10 years for a diagnosis.
I never felt sexy. Even when getting intimate I would wear baggy tops
Phoebe Ellis
She said: “I had no idea what these strange protrusions were – I just knew they hurt and shouldn’t be there.
“I was living with my family in Estepona, Spain but flew home to see my doctor in the UK who had never seen anything like it.
“I wasn’t given any tests and it wasn’t properly diagnosed, even though they were incredibly painful. It hurt every time my arms brushed against them and were excruciatingly sore and tender when I came on every month.
“I went on the Pill and that stopped them hurting so much, but I didn’t know what I could do about them – or even what they were.
“I had really big boobs so I thought it could be something to do with them, but I wasn’t sure.”
Aged 20, Phoebe broke down to her GP over the lumps, which had continued growing.
She said: “I told her that nobody understands and that it was ruining my life and I hate myself.
“I couldn’t look in the mirror without looking at myself with disgust because of this horrible flaw.
“Even if I lost all the weight in the world and had a six pack I would still have these horrible lumps and would hate myself.”
Why is it easier to get a free NHS nose job than being able to remove these mystery lumps that were making my life a misery?
Phoebe Ellis
Her doctor promised to fight for surgery but, on the morning of Phoebe’s 21st birthday, she received another letter refusing the op.
She said: “I read it and burst into tears. I genuinely hated myself. I know women who have had breast reduction from the NHS.
“Why is it easier to get a free nose job than being able to remove these mystery lumps that were making my life a misery?
“It hurt that the medical profession didn’t seem to care.”
Phoebe was refused the op four times – before her friends and family scraped together the £5,500 needed for private surgery.
Weeks after her 21st birthday, when she refused the heartbreaking letter, Phoebe visited Dr Aamer Khan at the Harley Street Clinic.
She said: “When he saw them, he was horrified and said it must affect my life so much. I thought that someone finally appreciated how much this was affecting me.”
Phoebe had a two-hour operation to remove the lumps, which had each grown to the size of a small grapefruit, while awake.
After the successful surgery, the lumps were sent to a lab for testing.
It wasn’t until January that Phoebe discovered she had accessory auxillary breast tissue – which affects between two and six per cent of women.
This is where breast tissue and fat grows separately from your boobs, with its own ductal system. It can also cause extra nipples, although Phoebe didn’t have these.
Accessory breast tissue: the facts
Some women develop additional breast tissue outside of the breast, normally in the armpit.
2-6% of women and 1-3% of men are affected.
Symptoms include swelling, tenderness, a limited range of shoulder movement and irritation from clothing.
It can be treated with surgical removal or liposuction.
Removal is possible on the NHS, but you’ll have to be approved by your local Clinical Commissioning Group (CCG).
Dr Khan, co-founder of Harley Street Skin Clinic, said: “Accessory breast tissue is abnormal accessory breast tissue which grows in addition to normal breast tissue. In some cases, extra breasts may appear with nipples. It is more common in women but can also affect men.
“The condition is present from birth and most patients, like Phoebe, do not notice it until they reach puberty.
“As its growth and development is triggered by hormonal changes, it may also become more evident during pregnancy or lactation.
“Phoebe suffered from large and painful accessory breasts which clearly caused her issues with body image and psychological distress for 10 years.
“This is particularly sad to see in a young person embarking on adult life.”
Phoebe been left with scars under her arms but says she feels more feminine and confident since going under the knife. She’s also plucked up the courage to join a gym for the first time.
“Anything would have been better than those extra breasts,” she said.
“New Years Eve was the first time in 12 years I wore a top out. I still had stitches in and the scars were really bad.
“But I didn’t care – I was relieved and felt a new wave of confidence. After so many years of hiding my body, I wanted to show it off.”
Phoebe now wants to raise awareness of her rare condition, to help other young women going through the same thing.
She said: “When I was young, I had nobody to look up to and no information. It was impossible to find anything so I thought I was a freak.
“I want girls not to hide away in shame and to let it affect the rest of your life.”
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Phoebe says her teenage years were ruined and the lack of support from the NHS has left a bitter taste.
She said: “It is hard being resentful towards the NHS because you know what they do and how stretched they are, but I was traumatised by what I went through.”
We recently reported on a woman who ditched make-up for the first time after painful surgery on her facial birthmark.