Our families have driven me and my girlfriend apart

DEAR DEIDRE: After five years in a secret relationship, my girlfriend has dumped me by text.

Neither of our families approved of us being together and I think the pressure got to her in the end.

I’m 23 and she’s 22.

We started dating at school, but her dad is very protective, and wanted her to marry someone from her community – she’s Turkish.

My parents are Catholic and felt the same way.

They told us to end it, but we carried on seeing each other covertly.

It was exciting at first – we felt a bit like Romeo and Juliet. Sneaking around made the relationship more exciting.

But neither of us liked the constant lying and logistical problems, and we both yearned to be together in a normal relationship.

If we wanted to spend the night together, we’d have to come up with a story.

Last weekend, I took her away for her birthday. We had a wonderful time.

Then, a few hours after she got home, she sent a message saying she couldn’t do it anymore.

I know we’re meant to be together, and desperately want her back but she says she needs time and space.

I miss her so much. Should I accept it’s over and move on, or wait until she is ready to try again?

DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound like your girlfriend couldn’t cope with the stress anymore.

Give her the space and time she needs and then talk. If you really do love each other, then you need to agree to stand up to your families.

You can’t just reunite and go back to a secret relationship. It won’t work.

Only you and she know whether you could cope with their disapproval, and what that would mean – if they’d cut you off or – as I hope – if they could find a way to accept your relationship if they see how strongly you both feel.

My support pack, Mending a Broken Heart, should help you in the meantime.