I cheated at my sister’s hen party with a man dressed up like a cowboy

DEAR DEIDRE: After having a few too many at my sister’s hen do, I ended up spending the night with a man who was dressed as a cowboy and on a stag party. 

We had so much sex, I don’t think I slept a wink. It was fun but the next morning I had that familiar feeling of dread.

I’m married and this isn’t the first time that I’ve strayed.

I’m 29, my husband is 34 and we have a three-year-old son.

When we first met I used to love his carefree attitude but since settling down and starting a family it’s grown tiresome. Now we have a child plus bills and a mortgage to pay.

He leaves everything to me. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, laundry, our finances or even putting our son to bed, he doesn’t lift a finger.

I felt weighed down with responsibility.

There’s an older man at work who was giving me attention. 

At our work summer party I had a lot to drink and stupidly made a move on him. We spent the night flirting and then went back to his flat where we had sex.  

Afterwards, we both agreed that it was wrong and that we’d never do it again.

But I regularly bump into him on nights out and normally end up going back to his flat for a couple of hours.

It’s not going anywhere and the longer it continues the more guilty I feel. He’s single but old enough to be my dad. 

I feel so guilty and upset. Facing my husband every day has become unbearable. 

DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder you feel overwhelmed and burnt out, your husband is still trying to live as if he has no responsibilities.

However, getting drunk and having casual sex with men you hardly know isn’t the way to solve it.

You need to take control of this before it wrecks your life.

Have an open and honest conversation with your husband. Tell him how you’ve been feeling and that he needs to take an equal share in the housework and child care.

My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will show you plenty of ways to get the point across. 

I hope that as your relationship improves you won’t feel the need to turn to alcohol. Until you feel more secure avoid heavy drinking which is when your decision making is at its most destructive.