My husband knows I’ve been sleeping with my boss to pay the bills so now he wants me to be an escort
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been having sex with my boss to pay the bills.
My husband knows all about it.
He and I are both 25 and have been together since we were 17. I work as a book-keeper at a local firm of accountants.
The boss is in his fifties and always had an eye for me. When my husband was laid off by the garage where he worked, we started to struggle for money.
I was looking miserable at work and my boss said: “Give me a cuddle and I’ll help sort your rent arrears.”
I flung my arms round him and he arranged for me to work late the next day. We ended up having sex on the settee in the clients’ waiting room.
That was just the first time. Sex with him is surprisingly good. He takes more trouble over foreplay and lasts longer than my husband.
A job came up at work to start training as a proper accountant. I joked to my husband that I’d have to sleep with the boss to get it. He just said: “Go for it.”
Now I tell him about what I get up to with the boss. My husband finds it turns him on.
He hasn’t managed to find another job and is now suggesting maybe I should sign up to become an escort because then I could make a lot of money.
He says if it paid enough, I could give up my current job altogether.
I have major doubts about this.
Sex with someone I know well is one thing. Sex with strangers sounds alarming.
I do accept that the extra cash would solve some of our debt problems, which would be a relief, but I feel uneasy about the idea.
Topic4today
CHILDBIRTH is the most common trigger for sex problems in relationships but there is plenty of self-help to try – and expert help available. My e-leaflet Sex Problems After Childbirth explains. Email or private message me on Facebook for a copy.
DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t even consider becoming an escort. It would put you at risk in many ways.
So-called clients could be violent, demanding, frightening – and dangerous. You could catch a sexual infection and pass it on to your husband.
And there is the risk to your self- respect. Being treated like an object to be bought and used would be damaging to you. Your husband may like the idea now but could react badly.
Think carefully about your work situation. You deserve better than to be used like this.
Work is work, your private life should be something else.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
Start sorting out financial worries with the suggestions in my e-leaflet on Solving Debt Problems.
Help For Job-hunters can give your husband fresh ideas. He needs to show initiative, not pimp you out.
Tell your boss you have realised that it is best to keep your professional and personal lives separate.
I hope he is a decent enough man to respect that. If not, you can get free and impartial advice about your rights at work from Acas (acas.org.uk, 0300 123 1100).
My e-leaflet How Men Can Last Longer could aid your sex life at home.
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