My fussy daughter would only eat sausage, beans and chocolate – but I changed that by learning to say NO
NEWBORN Libby Mould was a happy baby – with a healthy appetite to boot.
But growing up, she refused to eat anything but sausage and beans.
Her “desperate” mum Belinda described it as “soul-destroying” – fearing her girl would never go near a green vegetable and become incredibly unhealthy.
She loved scoffing treats too – and while she wasn’t yet obese she was “eating way too much chocolate”, Belinda, 40, from Leeds, West Yorkshire, told Fabulous Digital.
With childhood obesity on the rise – 22,000 children who finished primary school last year were classed as “severely obese” by Public Health England – Belinda was understandably concerned.
But now, thanks to an eight-week parenting course in Leeds, which has seen levels of obesity decrease in the city, Libby happily tucks into anything – and sweeties are an occasional treat not the norm.
Belinda thinks it is all down to offering kids more choice – while remembering you’re the parent.
“You can’t let your child assert their authority,” she advised. “You can’t let the child dictate what they eat.
“Just this morning my daughter asked for chocolate for breakfast and I said no. She had toast.
We tried things like bananas but she would just throw them on the floor
Belinda Mould
“It’s very easy to say yes to your child when they want something. But you can’t.
“That’s not to put parents down, but it’s so easy to confirm to your child’s wishes for an easy life. Don’t do it. You and your partner need to be singing off the same page.”
Belinda learnt tricks to get previously-fussy Libby eating healthy food thanks to an eight-week HENRY (Health, Exercise, Nutrition for the Really Young) programme in Leeds.
Belinda's tips to get your kid eating healthy foods:
- Make sure you have a set mealtime – we always eat at 5pm
- Give your child guided options – for example let them have strawberries or a yogurt (but not chocolate!)
- Treats are just that treats – don’t let them become an everyday occurance
- Remember who the parent is – don’t let your child convice you that they deserve chocolate (even if they are desperate!)
- Parents need to work together to convice their child to eat healthy food
- You can hide veggies they wouldn’t normally eat in food they love – for example Libby likes curries
Oxford University research found the course, which costs councils £50 per family, and shows parents how to “take charge” has been linked to a significant drop in obesity levels.
Obesity rates among five-year-olds in England remained unchanged between 2013-14 and 2016-17, at around 9.4 per cent.
Amazingly rates in Leeds dropped from 9.4 per cent to 8.8 per cent over the same period, according to the study presented at the European Congress on Obesity in Glasgow.
“The course was so helpful so I am not surprised,” said Belinda, who is a student and, along with her partner Andy Walker, 49, is on benefits.
“There were a number of local families from the area who attended. Some of the children were bigger, some were fussy eaters, but we all benefited.”
Belinda told how, when Libby was born in 2015, she was initially breastfed.
“But after 10 days she started losing weight so I switched onto formula,” Belinda explained.
For five months Libby gained weight and at six months started self-weening, eating yogurt and shop-bought baby food.
She loved mashed potato and would eat low-salt parsnip and carrot crisps.
But when Libby was 10 months old her mum suffered a severe case of depression and spent a year in hospital.
Libby was put into foster care while she recovered with her mum seeing her three times a week. She ate a healthy diet during this period – but when reunited with her mum things changed.
“She wouldn’t eat anything,” Belinda explained. “For two weeks there was a transition period where I’d have her for lunch. She flat-out refused to eat.
“Her foster mother said she would come back to their home in the evening totally starving. But I just couldn’t get her to eat anything. I felt useless.”
After a fortnight Libby, now nearly four, was back with her mum permanently. But she still wouldn’t eat.
“Desperate, I tried to bribe her with chocolate,” Belinda admitted. “But she wouldn’t let me feed her, put her to bed or brush her teeth.
“It didn’t improve quickly. It was soul-destroying. I felt guilty enough being away from her. Realising she wasn’t ready to accept me as her mum was awful.”
Quickly Belinda realised Libby would eat one thing – sausage and beans.
“We just wanted to eat something – anything,” she said. “So when she’d eat sausage and beans we were delighted. We’d even offer her chocolate just to get eat.”
You can’t let your child assert their authority. You can’t let the child dictate what they eat
Belinda Mould
So while Belinda and Andy ate healthily and enjoyed food such as pasta with mushrooms and onions, Libby ate sausages and beans (with the occasional spoonful of mash) every day.
“This carried on for months and months,” her mum explained. “I tried and tried but she wouldn’t eat fresh fruit and veg. I was worried she was deficient.
“We tried things like bananas but she would throw them to the floor. Sometimes she would have tantrums.
“I felt like a failure of a mum. We couldn’t go out for dinner. Everything was a struggle.”
Libby was in the ninth percentile for her age and was wearing clothes meant for children years younger.
“I don’t think it had reached the stage of malnourished but I was worried about her. I was quite emotional,” her mum said.
When Libby was just short of two her mum was at a local community group when a nurse mentioned the HENRY scheme.
“It sounded like a good idea so I went along,” she said. “We were given recipes but the parental choices were what I found most useful.
“We were told about guided choices. You give a child a choice of two healthy options and they respond with what they want. It gives them a sense of control.
“It’s the same with exercise. For example you can say: ‘Would you like to go to the park or for a walk along the river?’”
Belinda persevered with the course, even when it was a struggle.
“It felt like it took forever but, with patience, it got her eating a good variety of food,” she said.
“She will now eat all sorts including broccoli, sweetcorn, peas and green beans… it is brilliant.”
She said mums and dads had a huge part to play.
If you look at it by deprivation, the most deprived group in Leeds is doing especially well. That is astonishing
Prof Susan Jebb
“We make sure we eat healthy too,” she explained. “If the parents eat burgers for every meal, the children will watch that. They are very perceptive.”
She’s also learnt the importance of family meals. “We eat at 5pm every day. Gone are the days when I would hide a spoonful of peas in Libby’s mash, desperate for not to notice them. Now she will scoff them down.”
Former Government obesity tsar, Prof Susan Jebb, of Oxford University, said: “If you look at it by deprivation, the most deprived group in Leeds is doing especially well. That is astonishing. For new parents, parenting is all new behaviour.”
“You’re not trying to change the way they feed their children, you’re giving them a start on feeding their children.
“It’s about helping parents find solutions. “None of us are born with parenting skills. Most of us have to make it up as we go along.”
Seema Kennedy, the public health minister, added: “It is encouraging to see what can be achieved locally through interventions like this.”
Meanwhile, Kim Roberts, chief executive of Leeds’ HENRY, said: “We want parents to be able to hold boundaries, so they are able to say ‘no’ to pester power around snacks.”
So far 6,000 families in Leeds have been given the lessons.
Most read in Real Life
An obese bride lost a massive 13-stone – after she STOPPED dieting.
This mum lost seven stone after realising she was fatter than her husband.
And a woman lost nine stone… only to put it on again.