I invited my dad over for the weekend and now my mum is refusing to speak to me

DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE my mum coming to stay with me at Easter and having a great time, she has blocked me on social media and cut me out of her life.

She enjoyed being with my two daughters, especially as the distance between us normally stops us getting together very often.

She then found out that my father was coming to stay the weekend after her – and she hates my father with a passion. They divorced when I was about five. I’m 30 now and my mother is 60.

She asked me whether my youngest daughter could go back home with her for a week. I thought it was to score points against my dad so I said no.

She then phoned me when she was drunk and said that in an earlier phone call my elder daughter had called my stepfather by his first name rather than saying Grandpa. She really got the hump about that, though my daughter insists it never happened.

There is so much hatred and name-calling and it is so unnecessary. It is starting to affect my kids. I love my mum but she is so over the top. She wants her husband to be the favourite. rather than my dad.

DEIDRE SAYS: Write to your mum and tell her that you love her and you love her being part of your daughters’ lives and don’t want that ever to change.

Explain that your father coming to stay doesn’t mean you love her or your stepdad any less.

Say you understand she is still bitter about their break-up – but her ex is still your father and your children’s granddad.

Invite her and your stepfather to stay again soon – maybe not close to your dad coming – and hope she moves on. If not, find help at familylives.org.uk (0808 800 2222).

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