I keep meeting up with my sexy ex for sex but I know she’s no good for me after she cheated

DEAR DEIDRE: I KEEP meeting my ex for passionate sex but I know she’s no good for me. Why can’t she leave me alone?

She has hurt me so many times before. We had been together for ten years and were due to start IVF treatment when I discovered she was cheating on me with someone she was at school with. He now stacks shelves in our local supermarket.

I was heartbroken. She was 27 and I was 29. I told her I would forgive her and we could start again but she decided to stay with her shelf-stacker.

That was five years ago and they went on to have two kids together.

I felt I had no choice but to put her out of my life and start afresh.

I found a new girlfriend who moved in with me and I also got promoted at work — I’m in the travel business.

Things were looking good when my ex and I met by chance in a pub. We both had a lot to drink and ended up having sex.

After that we met regularly and she told me she still loved me. I fell for her all over again. We had a six-month affair but then she decided she should try to make her relationship work with her children’s father, even though he is a waste of space and has a drink problem.

I was not as hurt as I might have been because I sort of expected it.

She wanted us to stay friends and I said we couldn’t, but she will not leave me alone.

She keeps coming up with a reason for us to meet and we end up having sex again. She messages me every day but I know she will only let me down once more.

I never get a proper answer when I ask her about our chances of having a future together.

I think about her every night but I know she will only cause me heartache.

Why won’t she leave me alone to get on with my life?

DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe she regrets leaving you, which sounds to have been bound up with your fertility problems together, but the answer does not lie with her motivation.

You need to find a way of getting on with your own life.

Your ex cannot make you do anything. You are just going along with her, knowing deep down that you will be hurt time and time again.

Be brave and block her so she can’t tempt you to meet up.

Look at your relationship with your present partner. Why are you so vulnerable to cheating on her?

Is it nostalgia for your first love, is your present partner wrong for you, or have you neglected your relationship? Tackle what needs sorting there.

If fertility worries are still bound up in this for you, find support through fertilitynetworkuk.org (0121 323 5025)

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