My arranged marriage is unhappy as my wife doesn’t understand the joy of sex

DEAR DEIDRE: A GOOD sex life is one of the most important things for a happy marriage, I believe – but I don’t know how to explain that to my wife.

I am 36 and she is 32. We have been married for five years. It was an arranged marriage.

Our sex life was regular in the beginning though it was always in the same position.

I asked my wife to try to vary it but she wouldn’t agree.

We only have sex one a month now. She never kisses or cuddles me.

I have given up hoping things will change.

DEIDRE SAYS: If she was brought up in a protective family, she may feel inhibited sexually. Have you helped her discover her own sexual responsiveness? Does she enjoy regular orgasms?

Ask her to explore this with you for both your sakes. My e-leaflet on Orgasm For Women explains self-help sex therapy.

Also check whether she is happy with your life together outside the bedroom.

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