This Week In Tabloids: Can Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's Crystal Collection Save The Hills Reboot?
Welcome to Jezebel’s Midweek Madness! Local menace Joan Summers is stocking up for the Celebrity Summer Slump, where the rich and famous flee to their yachts and escape my gossiping clutches. What will I do when the rivers run dry and my crops wither in the scorching, barren wasteland? How many baby photos will I…