I’m a lesbian but I longed for a baby so I conceived with a gay man I met online – now I’m a proud mum
A LESBIAN woman has conceived with a gay man she met online in order to become a mum. Desiree, 32, longed for a baby so much she decided to co-parent with a gay man, Jamie, she had never met before. They are two of the 40,000 people registered to co-parenting dating sites in the UK […]
A LESBIAN woman has conceived with a gay man she met online in order to become a mum.
Desiree, 32, longed for a baby so much she decided to co-parent with a gay man, Jamie, she had never met before.
They are two of the 40,000 people registered to co-parenting dating sites in the UK who want to have a baby without romantic involvement.
The postwoman revealed in documentary Pregnant and Platonic on BBC Two tonight that she hadn’t met someone she wanted to start a family with, so decided to take matters into her own hands in order to have a child.
There’s always been something missing, and that is a family – my family,” she explained.
“A baby is the missing piece of my puzzle.
“I’m getting old. So it’s makes you do these things. It’s now or never.”
Desiree met Jamie, a 24-year-old primary school teacher, on a website that pairs people who want to parent together.
“We hit it off straight away – he’s like the male version of me,” she explained, of why she decided to become pregnant with him.
“When we met we spoke for hours and hours and hours.”
The expectant mum joked: “His mother doesn’t think I’m a cougar. so that’s ok.”
However, of their age gap, she added: “In terms of settling down and having a baby with a complete stranger, which is essentially what it is.
“I was concerned that it was such a big decision to make and was he right for it – and two – serious enough about it.
“And had he considered that it’s not like getting a dog for Christmas?
I looked at him in terms of, can I see myself spending the next 20 years arguing with this man over my child and I could.”
Explaining the practicalities of conception, she revealed: “I brought the fertility kit online.
“You’d be surprised what you can buy on Amazon! It came with instructions and it was like you needed a medical degree to do this sort of thing.
“I got Jamie round and it was really awkward the first time because he was like what do I do now? I guess both of us being gay doesn’t help because I was like ewww.”
She quickly became pregnant, but encouraged him not to take time off work for their first scan, during which she revealed they conceived “naturally” with the help of a turkey baster.
Before the birth they had already decided that the baby would be spending half a week were her and half a week with their dad – and therefore she wouldn’t be breastfeeding.
Another couple featured in the programme, best friends Miriam and Alex, used a moon cup artificial insemination method to insert the sperm while she is ovulating in order to conceive.
The UCL student said: “I think I have an ‘out of control reproductive instinct’, that I think not everybody has.
“In my breasts and my womb I feel hunger. It’s a bit like hunger or anticipation.”
Alex added: “I would drop everything to be a father. If it meant giving up my job, both jobs. I would do it instantly.”
Unfortunately, their insemination method was yet to work.
Watching #PregnantAndPlatonic. It’s so great to see different kinds of relationships being represented, challenging the idea that your co-parent also has to be your romantic partner AND sexual partner AND best friend etc.
— Schr
dinger's Cat (@thunderschoen) June 7, 2019
Eye opening! #pregnantandplatonic There's an app for everything these days
#coparenting #coparent
It's in the pipe line…
— *Emily* (@LittleHoge) June 7, 2019
People took to Twitter to share how inspiring they found the couples in the programme, which was narrated by Clara Amfo.
One wrote: “Watching #PregnantAndPlatonic. It’s so great to see different kinds of relationships being represented, challenging the idea that your co-parent also has to be your romantic partner AND sexual partner AND best friend etc.”
Another commented: “Just watching #PregnantandPlatonic and it makes a lot of sense. Two people that really want a child, no feelings for each other to mess it up. #coparenting”
A third shared: “Eye opening! #pregnantandplatonic There’s an app for everything these days.”
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