I feel guilty as I’ve been fantasising about other men when with my partner

DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE my partner but I have begun fantasising about other men, which just makes me miserable.

We have been together for 21 years, have three children and are in our mid-forties.

Rex Features

I feel guilty as I’ve been fantasising about other men when with my partner[/caption]

Our sex life was always adventurous and exciting but then I strained my back, which put the brakes on for a while.

I am back to normal now but we haven’t got back our old excitement.

When we do have sex it feels awkward. I am worried if we don’t fix it now it will damage our relationship beyond repair.

DEIDRE SAYS: The break in your sex life has made you feel inhibited with each other. You have lost your sexual confidence.

Sex starts in your head, so fantasising may feel safer than acting on your thoughts for real with your partner.

A safe way to revive intimacy is by giving each other sensuous all-over massages – see my e-leaflet Massage For Couples.

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