Sun writer gets naked to test the door in the raw… all in the name of art, of course
TWO nude bodies facing each other in a doorway. . . that’s certainly one way to make an entrance.
And I have thrown caution — as well as my clothes — to the wind to recreate the Royal Academy’s latest artistic wheeze.
The Sun told this week how visitors to the world-famous gallery will have to squeeze past a naked man and woman to enter a new exhibition.
It is a recreation of a 1977 work by artist Marina Abramovic, 72, who wants to “confront themes of naked vulnerability”.
Now I’m confronting male model Miguel Rodriguez, 33, who has agreed to grin and bare it with me as we create our own nude doorway.
We agreed to avoid taking a sneaky peek at each other below eye level as we positioned ourselves like two wobbly bookends at a studio in East London.
I was feeling rather self- conscious. Then the first strangers casually filed through like they were strolling down the aisle at Asda — and I began to sweat.
As time went on the situation felt even more unnatural, with people treating us as if we were part of the furniture — even though we were totally in the buff.
It all got a bit more awkward when a larger gentleman tried to squeeze through.
“Excuse me!” he stammered. “Terribly sorry!”
“No problem,” I squeaked, as his enormous girth forced me against the wall.
It seemed like a typically polite British exchange on a busy commuter train — apart from the fact I’ve never travelled to work naked.
It’s good to know he probably wasn’t staring at my Botticelli. Still, I was glad when I got dressed again. My art goes out to the plucky participants who will go starkers when the Royal Academy’s show opens next year.
Here, we reveal what some other visitors thought when they — quite literally — got into art.
‘I felt I was interrupting’
Sophie Merchant, a 25-year-old producer from London, can’t stop giggling as she looks at us and prepares to enter.
She says afterwards: “It felt like I was interrupting their sexual experience – like I was involved in something I didn’t want to be involved in.”
‘Whoopsie daisy’
Retired lithographer Dennis Moran, 66, said “whoopsie daisy” as his hand gripped my shoulder for support.
He added: “It’s like squeezing through a crowded train. But I’m being careful – I don’t want to accidentally touch the wrong place!”
‘I was worried’
Jo McCartney, 36, who is a restaurateur, said after she squeezed past us: “I was worried I’d trip over as I was trying to look straight ahead.
“I think you look at people less when they are starkers than you do when they’re clothed.”
‘I’m good with nakedness’
Art director Jack Morgan, 24, from Walthamstow, East London, boasted: “I’m all good with nakedness.” I’m glad one of us is.
He added: “As a gay man I wanted to face the lady as that’s not something I normally experience. But it was no different.”
‘Bit of a tight squeeze’
Painter Cliff Kleanthous, 44, said: “Well that was a bit of a tight squeeze!
“Somehow I managed to not touch any bits but I felt like a contortionist as I weaved through. I turned towards him as it felt more respectful that way.”
‘So uncomfortable’
Fauzia Malik, 50, works in marketing. She said: “That was so uncomfortable – I was cringing the whole time.
“I was so terrified I would accidentally touch them inappropriately that I didn’t even look at them.”
‘I’m far too British’
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Joe Harmer, a 73-year-old retired bookmaker, says: “I didn’t want to face the lady – I would have preferred that way but it felt impolite.
“I’ve never done anything like this before and I don’t think I will again. I’m far too British.”
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