Winners & Losers: Sounders 4, FC Dallas 3

We wanted weird. We got weird.

Winners

Joevin Jones’ first half

For much of the season we’ve been waiting for Joevin Jones to regain his stellar form from his first stint with the Sounders. Well, Joevin might be back, at least he was during the first half. He played a part in Seattle’s first two goals and was virtually unplayable for large stretches of that half. Unfortunately, his form dipped in the second half but so did the rest of the team. That’s two positive performances in a row. If Joevin can play like he did in the first half, the Sounders have a serious threat in the playoffs.

Weirdness

Be careful what you wish for. That was weird. Actually, it was beyond weird. I’m going to blame the new fireworks that happened during the pregame. You couldn’t ask for more, really. I think I need a cigarette after all of that. There was so much weird stuff in that match. Jordan Morris scored some of the funniest goals ever. Jesse Gonzalez was just being the strangest man alive. The goal line clearance. Bryan Acosta missed a sure winner at the end of regulation. It was all weird. Let’s do it again on Wednesday.

The legend of Stefan Frei

There are not enough words in the english language to describe what Frei means to the Sounders. Time and time again, he has bailed this team out. I think Sounders head coach Brian Schmetzer said it best when he said, “I would rather have Stefan than any other goalkeeper in this league.” What a man. What a player.

Losers

Whatever happened to start the second half

I don’t know what the hell happened in the locker room during half time but we need to make sure that never happens again. The Sounders played some of their worst soccer of the year in the time between the kickoff and the time Dallas scored the equalizer. Seattle was very lucky to not be down several goals at that point. They couldn’t win second balls to save their lives. They couldn’t connect passes together. They couldn’t get out of their half. If a more clinical team than FC Dallas were playing, the Sounders could’ve easily lost. Needs to change before Wednesday.

Jesse Gonzalez’s fan club

Sounders fans have had some pretty hateable figures over the years. We had Will Johnson. We had Steven Lenhart. A new king may have claimed the throne in Jesse Gonzalez. What a clown this fella is.

Jesse must be commenting on how lucky he was to finish the match on the field. The dude was a pest all game, and not in a good way. At one point he literally choked Nouhou! Just a ridiculous 120+ minute performance from this fool. And I thought his contact lens time wasting in the regular season was bad, he took his awfulness to a whole new level for the playoffs. Enjoy the long offseason, jerk.