Can parents of a disabled child make romantic love work?

After travelling the world together, James and Jane decided to settle down and start a family – a decision that kickstarted an emotional journey they were not prepared for.

The couple had a son who was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.

This introduced a level of strain on their relationship that came with packed schedules, pressures and responsibilities that left little room for romance.

“When you have a child with special needs, you have an extra layer of complication,” says Jane as her husband adds: “The thing about parenthood… you get opened up to a level of emotion you never thought of.”

The emotional toll is huge on parents of children with a disability – and this impacts on the couple’s dynamics, they say.

James admits he feels he has outgrown the way he once expressed his love and now does it differently by, for example, preparing a cup of tea for his tired wife – something she calls “appreciation without being prompted”.

The couple shared their experience with family therapist Charlene Borg who interviewed them as part of her dissertation into the romantic relationship of couples with disabled children.

This study, conducted as part of her Masters in Systemic...