My wife tells me I do not listen and I’m complacent – I thought our marriage was fine
DEAR DEIDRE: ACCORDING to my wife, I’m complacent and I don’t respect her or listen to what she wants.
I thought we had a decent marriage but my wife has made it clear she has not been happy for a while.
We have been together since our teens and we are now both 38. We had our daughters in our 20s and they’re lovely, lively girls who take part in sports after school and weekends.
We both work. By the time we sit down most evenings it’s 10pm. We’re too tired to talk, let alone have sex.
We went to a counsellor who suggested date nights. We did that for a while and we were getting on better, but they’ve stopped now. My wife says that’s my fault but I see it as being both of us.
Can we get our mojo back?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You must both have changed but work and family life has filled your days so you’ve lost touch with the people you now are.
Sometimes what’s needed is more listening.
Tell your wife you love her and ask what she thinks would help – then listen.
Date nights are a good idea and my e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT can help.