I had great sex with a colleague but she still wants to make it work with her boyfriend

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD the most amazing sex with a girl from work after a night out.

We both agreed it was the best we’d ever had ­— but she is still trying to make things work with her boyfriend.

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I had sex with a girl from work after a night out and we both agreed it was the best we’d ever had[/caption]

Both of us have a job in a supermarket superstore. I am 21 and she is 23.

One of our colleagues was celebrating her 21st birthday and loads of us went out in town, drinking and clubbing.

I’ve always got on well with this girl and for once she was out socialising without her boyfriend. We got chatting and flirting and dancing.

She’d had a lot to drink and would have had a long taxi ride home. So I suggested she come home with me at the end of the evening.

I live with my parents but they respect my privacy. She agreed and said she would tell her boyfriend she was staying with a girl mate.

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We were chatting, flirting and dancing all night[/caption]

We had the most fantastic sex, even though she was very drunk, and I think we’d be great together.

I was hopeful at first because she confessed to her boyfriend and they broke up for a while.

But that only lasted for a couple of weeks and they are back together, trying again.

We are only on the same shifts occasionally. I long to see her and I know she feels the same but she says she is confused.

I find it hard as I feel we have something more and she is just with him out of sympathy.

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She wants to make it work with her boyfriend but I’m finding it hard to move on[/caption]

Of course, he never lets her go out socially without him now.

But when we do see one another at work it is as if we are still on that evening out and there is no boyfriend around.

The flirting excites me and I just want to rip her clothes off.

I have tried to move on but I’m finding it hard to see other girls as none of them compare to her. I really need to get some clarity.

Do I pursue the girl, knowing she is trying to make things work with her boyfriend, or do I look elsewhere?

DEIDRE SAYS: This girl probably finds it flattering to have you as a backstop. But it is a dead end for you the way things are.

If you really believe this girl is only back with her boyfriend out of some sort of pity, tell her that it is sad to see her write off her life like this. But you cannot write yours off too.

Give her a time limit to make a decision – a month, maybe.

Say that if she is still with her boyfriend then, you will have to assume she sees no future with you and you will move on.

In that case, make every effort to avoid seeing her and don’t chat with her at work.

You should fill your life with fresh opportunities for you to meet someone new. My e-leaflet on Moving On will help you.

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