Explain away: “How can I refuse an engagement without looking antisocial?”

I have bipolar disorder and it affects my ability to socialise with others. I teach high school, and by the end of the week I am emotionally worn out. I just want to stay home for the weekend and enjoy some peace and quiet. How can I decline social engagements without seeming antisocial or explaining my disorder? I have a friend who routinely just leaves things when he wants to. It could be midway through a movie and he’ll decide he’s had enough and wander out. You turn your back during a late-night stroll with six people and discover you’re down to five, his retreat back declares he’s tired now. He’s never impolite and would never leave a birthday party or an anniversary. But if it’s low-stakes, and he’s had enough, he just goes. I admire him for this with the kind of fever most people reserve for professional athletes. I mentally rate his exits by degree of difficulty and panache in the execution. It’s the effortless unselfconsciousness that makes it true greatness, like the way prodigious swimmers look almost lazy as they reach one languid arm out in front of the other and just glide, while the rest of [...]

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