It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: 10 Dumbest Things That Charlie Kelly Has Done
Charlie Kelly is a special kind of character. Serving as one of the main characters of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Charlie isn't quite as psychotic or as blatantly unfriendly as some of the others. He isn't great, mind you, but he's certainly no Dennis or Dee.
No, most of Charlie's flaws stem from his blatant disregard for social awareness, what is and isn't acceptable, and his flagrant stupidity. Sometimes he's stupid in a naive way. Other times he's just flat out, unbelievably stupid. These are some of those moments.
These are ten of the dumbest things that Charlie Kelly has ever done.
10 The Nightman Cometh
Just...all of The Nightman Cometh. There's just so much wrong with this that we don't even know where to start. The fact that he wrote a musical sort of proves his ambition, drive, and talent (we suppose), but it doesn't help that he filled it with (unintentional) references to child sex abuse.
It also doesn't help that he wrote and performed it entirely to impress the Waitress, once again proving his utter lack of social awareness. Let's face it - the dude is creepy.
9 His Night Time Ritual
Charlie walks a fine line between stupidity and utter insanity. This one may in fact fall into the latter. Every night before bed, Charlie huffs glue, eats an entire can of cat food, and drinks a beer. According to him, this results in a "weird chemical reaction" that makes him really sick and tired and gives him the ability to quickly pass out.
And why does he need to pass out so bad? Because there are fifty yowling cats outside his apartment.
8 Garbage Stars
This may in fact be the dumbest thing that Charlie has ever said. Rather than disposing of the bar's garbage in the dumpster, Charlie throws it in the furnace.
He does this so he can "recycle" the trash to heat the bar, give the bar its signature "smokey smell" (which is actually just the smell of burning garbage), and let the smoke drift into the sky where it turns into stars. Again, Charlie walks a very fine line between stupidity and insanity.
7 He's Illiterate
This isn't really a specific thing that Charlie has done, but rather a defining characteristic of his mental capacities.
It is well-ingrained within the Always Sunny canon that Charlie is borderline illiterate. He can't read, he can't write, and he struggles with even the most basic of comprehension skills. It's unclear how this man functions in everyday life while being illiterate, but knowing Charlie, he definitely finds a way.
6 The Dream Book
If you need a glimpse into Charlie's insane mind, look no further than his bizarre dream book. The gang comes across said dream book and decides to make Charlie's insane ramblings and ideas into reality.
These include the denim chicken, the horrifying bird with teeth (which Charlie thought was real), and a worm hat (which the gang incorrectly interpreted from Charlie's German dream character Hans Werhmat).
5 His Bizarre Diet
This list briefly touched on Charlie's propensity for eating cat food, but that's just a taste (no pun intended) of the ridiculous things that Charlie consumes. These include milk steaks (steak boiled in milk), vitamin balls, chicken beaks, chalk, pigeon, and Delaware River catfish. Oh, and who forget things like credit cards, newspapers, reptile scales, and literal garbage?
It's disgusting, and quite frankly, it is astounding that Charlie hasn't unintentionally killed himself yet.
4 Selling His Shares (For Half A Sandwich)
If it's not obvious already, Charlie doesn't exactly make the greatest financial decisions.
As Charlie is co-owner of the bar, he legally owns some of its shares. And of course, he totally blew that financial opportunity. In The Gang Sells Out, it's revealed that Charlie once sold a large majority of his shares to Mac in exchange for half a sandwich. He didn't think that one through, but then again, when does he ever?
3 His General Lack Of Hygiene
A lack of hygiene doesn't make you stupid. Some people just don't care. But Charlie's lack of hygiene makes him stupid, because he genuinely doesn't understand concepts of basic hygiene and hygienic practices.
He openly and proudly admits that he only washes "himself" once a week, he eats things like cat food, doesn't own a toothbrush, and he nonchalantly performs disgusting things around the bar (like unclogging toilets) with his bare hands. He just doesn't see a problem with any of this.
2 The Nightman Lyrics
Deciding to perform Nightman with Mac, Charlie hands him a sheet containing the song's "lyrics." Only, the sheet doesn't contain traditional lyrics. Like Mac initially believes, it looks like "a page from a coloring book." The "lyrics" that Charlie has written are actually just doodles and nonsensical words that beautifully display Charlie's complete illiteracy.
As Mac hilariously puts it after seeing the lyrics - "Whatever."
1 Not Comprehending Mac And Dennis
Maybe it's the constant glue huffing or beer drinking, but season eight sees Charlie straight up not comprehending what Dennis and Mac are saying.
While discussing the concept of the "wild card," Charlie gives off various affirmatives like "Yes," "good," and "right" without understanding the discussion. Not only that, he points to Mac in agreement, despite Dennis being the one who said something. Maybe he's not listening, but maybe he's just stupid. It's probably that one.