Dynasty: Fallon's 10 Best Insults, Ranked | ScreenRant
There's never a dull moment with Dynasty's protagonist Fallon Carrington. She has an inbuilt reservoir full of one-liners, and most of them are well-crafted insults. Anyone that Fallon isn't happy with is guaranteed to get their ego shattered by the devious businesswoman.
The fact that Fallon is very competitive makes her ever-ready to win a talking match. Whether it's her family, her lover, or a stranger, Fallon won't hesitate to give them a piece of her mind in a creative manner when the opportunity arises. Here are some of her best insults on the CW series so far.
10 "You Don't Go Back To Eating Ground Beef After You've Had Filet Mignon."
In Season 3's seventh episode titled "Shooting From The Hip," Fallon was dishing out the well-crafted insults once again. When Adam learned that Fallon wouldn't be together with Liam for Thanksgiving, he tried to convince her that it wasn't such a good idea.
Adam told her that Liam might just backslide and go back to his ex Ashley. Well, Fallon wasn't so concerned about that. She was sure that she was a much better woman than Liam, thus referring to Ashley as ground beef.
9 “Look, The Fantasy Where You’re Smart, Funny, And Appealing To Women Only Exists On Your Laptop.”
Fallon knows how to put people in their place, including egoistical men that are trying to hit on her. Normal women would just brush off men that aren't appealing to them but Fallon Carrington doesn't do things that way. It's too boring.
Instead, she goes on to tell a man that wants her that he is not as charming as he thinks he is. He is simply an e-charmer. She even lets him know that he isn't smart either. Ouch!
8 "I Don't Know... You're The Expert At Taking Kids Away From Their Mothers. Why Don't You Tell Me?"
When Liam's former lover showed up with a child that she claimed to be his, Fallon wasn't so comfortable with the new turn of events. She wanted Liam to either forget about the child and stay with her, or keep the baby and stay with her.
Both of these options didn't involve having the boy's mother in the picture. So, in Season 3's pilot episode titled "Guilt Trip To Alaska," Fallon went to Blake to tell him about her plan. Trust Fallon to insult the same person she is seeking help from. When Blake asked her how she was going to do it, she told him that he was the one who was good at keeping kids from their mothers because he kept Fallon and her siblings away from Alexis.
7 "Adam Isn't Exactly Subtle When He's Upset. I Mean, He Usually Snaps In The Craziest Way Possible Like Putting My Face On My Mother.
Fallon and Adam never get along and whenever she gets a chance, the devious sister always makes sure to make fun of her annoying brother. On one occasion, Fallon and Cristal were plotting to make Adam look bad in the eyes of Blake since Blake was too obsessed with him.
Cristal wasn't so sure whether their plan would work but Fallon assured her that it would work by referencing the moment where Adam recommended Fallon's face to doctors when Alexis was being given reconstructive surgery to repair her burnt face.
6 "Don't Be Jealous. It Wasn't Conjugal."
What makes this insult so iconic is the statement that was said just before it. In the episode titled "Wild Ghost Chase," Adam confronted Fallon about her visit to Blake in jail, Adam was concerned that Fallon wanted him to be thrown out of the manor.
So he innocently said: "I heard about your visit with father." To which Fallon responded with the above statement. Call it throwing the perfect shade. She was implying that Adam shouldn't be nosey and concerned because it was just a simple visit.
5 "You Have About As Much Of A Chance Of Successfully Running That Company As I Do Successfully Running A Marathon In Heels."
In Season 2's finale, Kirby bought Femperial from Fallon for $1 as part of the scheme she had set up with Fallon to sabotage Blake but she still backstabbed Fallon and refused to her back the company. Fallon wasn't too happy with the betrayal.
In Season 3's pilot episode, she confronted Kirby and let her know her feelings. She made it clear to her that her business acumen was wanting, and that there's no chance she'd be successful running the company.
4 "I Am Doing Something With My Life. And I Assure You, I Don't Want Liam Ridley Or John Southside To Have Any Part In It. Nice Porn Name, By The Way."
And the breakup line of the year goes to... When Fallon breaks up with someone, she does it big. Her relationship with the author Liam Ridely—whose pseudo name is Johnny Southside—has always been a complicated one. At one point she decided she'd have enough of him.
So, she told him she is moving on with her life and she doesn't want him to be part of it. Then she went on to use his pseudo name to make fun of him, suggesting that "Southside" sounds like the name of an adult film star because private parts are located in the south of the body.
3 "Oh, Calm Down. Last Year We Threw A Party For The Dog, And It Was Better."
Another shot from brother to sister. When Blake threw a party to celebrate Adam's achievements, the often annoying sibling was impressed, stating: "I can't believe dad would do all this just for me."
Fallon made sure to shut down all the excitement by telling Adam that when he wasn't around, Blake threw a party fr the family dog and it was even better than the current party. Not a nice thing for a sister to say to a brother but there is no love lost between these two.
2 "Oh, Looks Like Someone's Having A Leg, A Breast, And A Thigh. Can You Two Put Some Clothes On? People Need To Take Shelter."
In the Season 2 episode titled "That Witch," there was a tsunami threat. When Fallon walked into Blake's office, he found him making love to Cristal. She quickly compared the situation to having a meal of chicken, much to the bemusement of Blake.
Despite her father not liking the interruption, Fallon ordered them to put some clothes on so that people could take shelter from the incoming tsunami. Classic Fallon!
1 “I Thought This Was Steven’s Going-Away Breakfast, Not A Retirement Home Revival Of Flashdance.”
When Steven was going away, the family organized a mega breakfast for him. But when Fallon showed up and found her mother working out using dance moves, she wasn't too impressed. She went on to compare whatever she was doing to what happens in a retirement home.
She even made a reference to the 1983 dance film Flashdance. No one gets spared from Fallon's insults. Mother, father, brother... they all get the same treatment.