Harriette Cole: She destroyed my hair and then she disappeared

DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked for recommendations for hair stylists on social media. Someone messaged me that she was launching a hair business and showed me some of her work. I liked it, so I scheduled an appointment for a simple hair dye and trim.

The style can take anywhere from two to three hours, but I was at the shop for more than four hours. I was the only customer.

The color was completely wrong, and I hated it. She gave me a discount for the appointment since I didn’t like it.

Over the next couple of days, my hair started coming out in clumps. I’ve dyed my hair before, but it’s never had this type of damage. I am not sure what she did, but I want all my money back.

The problem is that her social media accounts are gone and her phone number is disconnected, and every time I go to the shop, there is no one there.

I’ve been thinking about contacting the police to file a report and lawsuit. This all turned out to be so sketchy. I don’t want what happened to me to happen to anyone else. Should I go to the police for help finding her?

Scammed Hair

DEAR SCAMMED HAIR: Rather than the police, you may want to file a claim with a small claims court. Take a picture of the damage and find photos of yourself before. Gather all of the written communication from the woman as well as receipts for payment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a nanny for a new family. I can tell that the children are comfortable with me because they have begun to loosen up and are beginning to behave badly, including using profanity. Even the youngest child — who is learning to talk — repeats curse words.

I know that kids learn from what they hear, so I thought they must hear that language on TV. I told my employers to limit the kids’ screen time, but when they went to punish the kids for their behavior, they used profanity while lecturing the children.

I couldn’t believe they didn’t make the connection right then and there. I was so shocked at the parents’ behavior that I left.

I keep going to work, but I am unable to figure out what to say to the parents. Should I tell them they shouldn’t curse at the kids, or am I out of place?

Loose Lips

DEAR LOOSE LIPS: Tread lightly here. When you are with the children, use positive language that is empowering and free of any profane words. When the children use profanity, offer them replacement words and phrases. The child who is learning to talk can learn to emulate your language.

You should also point out the children’s language to their parents — but be careful. Give an example that is not about them directly.

Before my daughter was born, my husband and I decided that we would not curse around her at all. It took a bit of practice, but we managed. We have a friend who “curses like a sailor.” He told us he curbed his cursing when his firstborn at about age 2 strung together a collection of curses to share at a dinner party.

You may or may not get them to stop, but you can be a good example.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.