The Real Housewives Of New York: The 10 Best Storylines, Ranked
"It's up to you New York, New York," and, apropos of the song, this is the Housewives franchise that has always delivered. Next season, Eboni K. Williams will join the show as the first black NY cast member. Last season, Married to the Mob fashion designer Leah McSweeney burst onto the scene with a beauty and force only seen by Bethenny Frankel.
Great TV will be expected of these two, with more jaw-dropping antics from OGs like The Countess, The Ramonacoaster, Lady Morgan, and the now single Dorinda Medley, who always "makes it nice." But, there's a legacy to live up to. Can they top these stories that kept us rapt?
10 Alex And Simon
How did these two ever get on this show? She was the farthest thing from a Manhattan socialite, he was... well, let's say he marched to the beat of his own drum, and, besides that, they lived in Brooklyn in a brownstone that was in disrepair.
Perhaps that's what made their fish-out-of-water storyline so engrossing. As pre-wealthy Bethenny pointed out, if the other wives ever saw how they lived, then watch out. No matter that she had red-bottomed designer heels like the rest of the girls, ("Frankenstein shoes," as Lu called them, as "even Mr. Louboutin makes mistakes,") Alex and her brood were never going to measure up and ended up moving to Australia.
9 Aviva And Her Leg
The statuesque blonde looked like she'd fit right in as she was indeed an Upper East Sider once married to proverbial Housewives' boyfriend Harry Dubin.
Aviva not only brought to her storyline a prosthetic leg from a childhood accident, but her rather lecherous dad and a phobia that meant her husband had to always be in tow, even on the girls' trips. When she took the leg off and slammed it on the restaurant table, it ended her role on the show.
8 Luann's Love Life
When we were introduced to her, Lu was a married mother of two with a title. The stunning brunette was also rather aloof and didn't seem to want to hob-nob with the other ladies. Then, her husband found another woman, and she went from Countess to, as Mario Singer put it: "Countless." Her whirlwind marriage with Tom D'Agostino Jr. only lasted a year.
In between, there was her long-time romance with French wine salesman-turned comedian named Jacques which ended thanks to among other things, a dalliance with a "pirate."
7 Bethenny Loves/Hates Carole
They went from "BFFs" to "get away from me ASAP." The widowed blonde and divorced brunette were close to the point of being smug and exclusionary when it came to the other women. Carole's genuine concern for her sister from another mister when ex Jason was stalking/harassing her was as protective as Lancelot towards Maid Marion.
Then, Carole's young boyfriend Adam caused their friendship armor to crack, as did Carole's allegiance to her newly widowed pal from Los Angeles. The two quick-witted women traded barbs like a standup comedian and a heckler, prompting viewers to create a Team B vs. Team C matchup.
6 Tinsley Loves Scott
The former NY socialite's return to the city that embraced her—then sent her packing after she divorced one of its native sons—was a triumph with the blonde back on the runways, even hosting The Big Apple Circus.
We watched her first date with Scott the coupon king, who was introduced to her by Carole. They seemed to know each other about five minutes before her tongue was down his throat as Carole and Adam looked on. We cried along with Tinz every time they'd break up to make up, which culminated in the couple's engagement and Ms. Mortimer's move to Chicago.
5 Poor Sonja
Hers was an American dream come true... until it wasn't. The girl from modest upstate New York who came to the big city and landed a real-life "Mr. Big" in the form of a Morgan, an actual ancestor of J.P.
Lady Morgan entertained royalty on their yacht, oversaw multiple residences, and gave birth to scion Quincy. Then, her husband took too much of an interest in Sonja's friend, divorce ensued, and we watched the aging blonde hit the bottle and try to sell/rent her storied townhouse while starting a fashion line that was bought by Century21, which subsequently went bankrupt.
4 Bethenny vs. Kelly
"I'm up here, and you're down here," complete with the hand gesture, became part of the national conversation when Kelly Bensimon joined the cast in season two. This oil-and-water combo spent each episode with the fledgling Skinnygirl out to prove the model/author a phony, and Kelly retaliating by trying to expose the chef as low class.
Their obsession with each other was so Mean Girl-juvenile that watching these two grown women antagonize one another went from sad to comic relief. Scary Island should have been called Crazy Town.
3 Bethenny And Jill's 'Divorce'
"Get a hobby," became part of our vernacular when this big sister/little sister relationship fell to pieces. Jill and late husband Bobby Zarin "adopted" the runaway bride who couldn't pay her rent. The Bethenny and the Long Island redhead got along like an old married couple, but then came the split heard 'round the isle of Manhattan.
Emboldened by her new man Jason Hoppy, the promise of long-desired motherhood and the being of the booze biz that would make her a millionaire, Bethenny rebuffed her one-time mentor who got too in her business for B's taste. When the up-and-coming mogul tried to make peace, Jill just couldn't take the drama anymore.
2 Ramona's Divorce
The breakup that took us out of the Bravo-sphere and into the tabloids. Since the first episode of the show's first season, we knew the bubbly blonde was proud of her marriage to Mario Singer, and, along with daughter Avery, she referred to her family as the Three Musketeers. "I know what I have," Ramona said confidently when a party fortuneteller saw infidelity in her Tarot cards. The height of her pride in her years with Mario was when, on national television with Jill Zarin and the other wives in attendance, the couple renewed their vows, with no one reciting them more sincerely than Ramona.
Our hearts broke along with hers when, splashed over print media, TV, and websites were the details of Mario and his young paramour frolicking in the Singer's Hamptons home where police were called. There was an attempt at reconciliation, but, alas, the union was severed, and we are now on her dating journey.
1 Luann's Arrest
On the holiday weekend that would have been her first wedding anniversary to ex Tom, the once-refined aristocrat via marriage number one had devolved into a "Don't be all uncool" party girl in need of a 12-step program.
Raw footage of this sad, out of control woman showed her in handcuffs in the back of a squad car yelling "I'll kill you," at a Palm Beach police officer. Not a good look.
But, that seemed not to be the worst of it. Once at the station, they offered the once regal Luann a bologna sandwich. Her story has a silver lining, as the songstress began anew with a successful cabaret act called Countess & Friends.