Missed Fists: Rivals start wild brawl in Russia, Jose Perez locks in nasty banana split, more

Welcome to the latest edition of Missed Fists, where we shine a light on fights from across the globe that may have been overlooked in these hectic times where it seems like there’s an MMA show every other day.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone!

‘Tis the season for good will and peace on Earth, though that certainly wasn’t the case at Fight Night Global’s Winter Cup event in Moscow on Thursday.

Vyacheslav Vasilevskiy vs. Bogdan Guskov
Vagab Vagabov vs. Dmitriy Andryushko
Azizkhan Chorshanbiev vs. Amirkhan Oev

AL: Before we get to the actual highlights, we have to talk about Magomed Ismailov and Vladimir Mineev creating absolute chaos and setting up what promises to be an exciting grudge match.

The two Russians fought to a draw two years ago, so I guess it makes a lot of sense for them to run it back at some point, and they may as well put some heat behind it.

There’s a lot to parse here, what’s your favorite bit?

JM: Look, sometimes these things happen in MMA.

That being said, I loved all of it. The fact that I have no idea what they are saying actually makes it better because, from the looks of them, these two fellas aren’t exactly offering an Algonquin Round Table of witty repartee here, so just having it be a cacophony of noises I don’t understand is better. And I especially love the little “boop” the one dude does with the microphone after he realizes he just flinched.

Top marks all around. What about you?

AL: At first, the guy around the 2:45 mark not just climbing over the cage wall, but straight up spring-boarding into the ring jumped out at me (no pun intended). But upon another viewing, I really appreciate the woman with the purple phone case filming the whole thing and smiling the whole time once things started to get physical. Makes it all seem a little Jake Paul-Dillon Danis-y though.

Anyway, we’re not here to celebrate a lack of civility (we would never!), so let’s get to the fighters more deserving of the spotlight. First up this week, Vyacheslav Vasilevskiy (34-8) put Bogdan Guskov (10-2) down with a nasty two-piece in the main event.

JM: Gotta love FNG. Big-ass brawl breaks out, and they get straight back to business, providing all of us with concussive head trauma. Oof, that follow-up hammer fist was not needed and landed clean. That one is going to sting for awhile.

AL: We also saw a rare standing TKO via body shots courtesy of Vagab Vagabov.

This stoppage would have been justified if it was just the referee’s call, but apparently Dmitriy Andryushko’s corner did throw in the towel. Imagine if this happened in the UFC? Fans would riot and you and I would probably end up having to do a Great Divide about it.

JM: UFC fans will riot about anything other than the fighters getting paid a pittance of their value, so really, wouldn’t be too out of the norm. And like with many instances of fan backlash, it would be completely unfounded as you can clearly see the towel thrown in by Andryushko’s corner.

AL: Imagine the crap that corner would take from @JustBleedFan69 though.

JM: It’s a good stoppage by them. Their guy was done, and there was nothing to be gained by having him continue aside from more damage. It’s honestly pretty damning about the sport writ large that the last time I can remember a towel being thrown in by a corner in MMA was Nate Diaz’s corner in the Josh Thomson fight, roughly 400 lifetimes ago.

AL: The real travesty was this fight even happening. I don’t know if it was a short-notice dealie or what have you, but Vagabov entered this contest 26-1-1. Andryushko… 1-0.

JM: I see no problem with this.

AL: In a slightly more even matchup, Azizkhan Chorshanbiev (6-0) landed a beautiful Anderson Silva paw KO on Amirkhan Oev (1-2).

JM: Oddly enough, I’ve already referenced the Diaz brothers twice this week and then we come to this KO which is a damn near carbon copy of Nick’s KO of Robbie Lawler, which in hindsight, is arguably the most absurd MMA highlight of all time.

AL: These aren’t bad comparisons for young Chorshanbiev.

Gadzhimurad Magomedov vs. Zaur Albakov

Staying in Russia and hopping over to scenic Nizhny Novgorod we have Eagle Fighting Championship 31 (free fights available on YouTube) from this past Sunday.

Poor Zaur Albakov was target practice for Gadzhimurad Magomedov.

I don’t mean to play Monday Morning Cornerman, but hey Zaur, maybe watch the kick next time, bud.

JM: I’m honestly just impressed as hell that the first two didn’t put him down. That front kick to the face as he ducked his head down would’ve felled a lesser man, as would the wheel kick. But I guess sometimes it takes a good old-fashioned shin to the face to end a man’s night.

Magomed-Salakh Ilyasov vs. Anton Rachkov

AL: Over at Belarusian Fighting Championship 65 (free fights available on YouTube) on Wednesday, we had a leading candidate for strike-I’d-least-like-to-take-thank-you-very-much.

Here’s Magomed-Salakh Ilyasov delivering a backfist TO THE THROAT of Anton Rachkov.

JM: I’m not gonna claim to be a rules expert here, but isn’t that illegal? I mean, I guess this is Belarus so like, maybe nothing is illegal, but I was fairly confident striking the throat is a no-no in modern MMA. Am I completely off base here?

AL: Why did he hit his fist with his neck?

JM: Well you see, that is a totally legal attack from Rachkov. Although not advised, you are allowed to strike with your throat. However, I’m, like, 92 percent certain you’re not allowed to strike the throat in any fashion. Rachkov got robbed!

Sumeet Khade vs. Angad Bisht

AL: Now we check in with a familiar name to Missed Fists readers, one Sumeet Khade. The Indian featherweight headlined this feature a couple of years back and while he hasn’t broken through to the mainstream yet, he is still doing a fine job of busting heads on the international scene.

Here he is driving a knee up into the jaw of Angad Bisht at a Matrix Fight Night 5 show (available on YouTube) in Dubai.

JM: I’m not one to toot our own horns, but let’s face it, we are kingmakers.

Think back on all the myriad prospects who have graced the internet pages of our weekly writeups and think about how many of them have gone on to bigger and brighter platforms. Now sure, some might argue that those fighters were exciting and good, and that’s why they got picked up, but I think we all know the truth: It’s because we signal boosted them to the moon with Missed Fists. And I am certain that no one who has been featured in these pages more than once, has failed to be picked up by a major organization (outside of the fine folks at Fight Circus, and let’s face it, that’s all down to politics).

So given all that, I feel confident in saying that Khade is not long for the regional scene.

AL: I’m willing to give us at least 90 percent of the credit for the success of these fighters.

William Banks vs. Jamal Peyton
Dillon Oliver vs. Sammy Reeves

I’ll be honest, I don’t know if our magic touch will extend to any of the admirable, but inexperienced prospects who fought at the Empire FC 8 show (fights available on Facebook) this past Saturday in Biloxi, Miss., the home of bare-knuckle boxing. At least not based on these highlights.

Still, there’s some joy to be had in watching a fighter—in this case, William Banks—drag his opponent around the mat by his head and put him out with an ugly guillotine choke.

JM: Pretty shocked that Jamal Peyton survived as long as he did in that guillotine given that he came out and nearly did a full circle of the cage right off the bat. That didn’t instill a lot of confidence in his level of competency inside the cage.

Sadly, I think we can write off Mr. Peyton from adding the growing throng of kings we have crowned.

AL: Speaking of ugly, I don’t know what was going on with Sammy Reeves here, but kids, don’t try this at home and definitely don’t try this in a cagefight.

Cue Yakety Sax.

JM: Counterpoint: if you do try this in a fight and manage to win with it, you will almost certainly go viral.

But yes, in general you should avoid stumbling and flailing about like a drunken lunatic. Though, in Reeves’ defense, he clearly was jacked up from the left hand that cracked him when he threw a low kick. I’d be pretty surprised if Reeves had any notion of what he was doing after that.

Zulkarnaiyn Kamchybekov vs. Richard Brooks
Jose Perez vs. Jacob Dorman
Darrell Horcher vs. Vadim Ogar
Dilano Taylor vs. Michael Cora
Jaret Betancourt vs. Nekoro Bunsie

AL: Sticking with the U.S. regional scene, we had some spectacular UFC Fight Pass viewing from recent Cage Fury Fighting Championship and Titan Fighting Championship events, so let’s give these the quick rundown.

Zulkarnaiyn Kamchybekov improved to 3-1 in CFFC action with this stunning right cross KO of Richard Brooks.

JM: Kamchybekov threw that second right hand all that way from Philadelphia. Seriously, he reached back to eternity to launch that thing, so no wonder it put Brooks out.

AL: We have some great submissions coming later in the feature, but the best of the week probably came courtesy of Jose Perez, who finished Jacob Dorman with a vicious banana split.

Nice of Perez to check on Dorman immediately afterwards and if I was him I’d apologize profusely for treating another human being that way.

JM: I said this when I first saw it and I’ll repeat it here, there is nothing I’d like to have happen to me less than a banana split. I’m actually quite flexible, except my hamstrings and groin and this is pure torture.

If I’m ever captured and for some reason they need to get information out of me, no need to go pulling off fingernails or holding my feet to a fire. Just put me in this thing and I’ll sing like a canary on American Idol.

AL: Yeah, I’ll take that weird Casino Royale chair torture over what happened to Dorman here.

In happier news, UFC veteran Darrell Horcher picked up his first win in three and a half years with a 29-second knockout of Vadim Ogar.

Horcher fought Khabib Nurmagomedov in his UFC debut and then got into a horrific motorcycle accident a month later (not sure which is scarier), so it’s fair to say he’s been through a lot. This was a nice CFFC homecoming for him.

JM: I remember when Horcher came into the UFC, there was some buzz to him, mostly due to the fact that he was willing to fight Khabib on short notice, which is a full-blown crazy man thing to do. Glad to see he’s come back from the motorcycle accident and putting on a great performance like this is exactly what he needs to earn a second, less-Khabib hindered crack at the UFC.

AL: Dilano Taylor had one of the prettier submissions of the month (if you can call a choke like this pretty), scoring an Ezekiel choke from top position on one-time Contender Series contestant Michael Cora.

What’s better? Ezekiel from top or bottom?

JM: Ezekiels in MMA are always great because they really shouldn’t happen, given the lack of sleeves. You have to have hella-squeeze or a real novice opponent, or both. But at least from top position, you have gravity and a pretty natural setup to work with. Getting an Ezekiel from the bottom is some super impressive strong man ish. Still though, this is dope.

AL: Making his pro debut, 22-year-old flyweight Jaret Betancourt was determined to steal the show and he may have done it with this no-doubt, one-punch KO of Nekoro Bunsie.

No wind-up, just a lightning strike right on the button.

JM: Oh yeah, we can go ahead and consider the show stolen. That funky little step-in left turned the lights out like my power company when I forget to pay the bill for two years. Click.

Elnurbek Ashubekov vs. Kirill Ivanets

AL: A Peruvian Necktie happened at a Far Eastern Modern Pankration Federation in Blagoveshchensk, Russia, this past Saturday, so you know it was going to be mentioned.

Elnurbek Ashubekov, this is your moment.

I’ve seen several Peruvian Neckties in my day, and I’m still sure that if I tried to apply one with no instruction I would end up injuring myself and not my opponent.

JM: The Peruvian Necktie is the greatest of all submissions because even when it taps someone out, it never looks dangerous. It just kinda looks like both guys are idiots who don’t know how to fight, except it’s only true for one of them. If I ever decide to run off and become a professional wrestler, the Peruvian Necktie is 100 percent going to be my finisher.

AL: I am amazed no pro wrestler has tried to use a sh*tty version of the Peruvian necktie as their signature move.

JM: It seems like a no-brainer to me. It’s got multiple stages to build up to a dramatic finish, it’s unique, and you can definitely get into the position without cranking it to actually submit someone.

Someone get me Vince McMahon, stat.

AL: You’d be surprised how many fans love bad MMA in their pro wrestling. One reason I’m glad The Undertaker retired is because I never have to see his awful gogoplata again.

Kenyasky vs. Kosuke Sugimura

Lastly, an ode to one of our favorite fighters ever, courtesy of Kenyasky.

At DEEP Tokyo Impact 2020, Kenyasky went full Kid Yamamoto on Kosuke Sugimura, picking up a KO with an official stoppage time of five seconds.

JM: This came up on Between the Links this week, but Kid Yamamoto still has the fastest KO in history at two seconds and I won’t hear otherwise. Think how nuts that is. It’s literally 150 percent faster than this KO, which you would miss if you sneezed right after pressing play.

RIP Kid. Krazy Bee forever.

If you know of a recent fight or event that you think may have been overlooked, or a promotion that could use some attention, please let us know on Twitter – @JedKMeshew and @AlexanderKLee – using the hashtag #MissedFists.