Three generations of family are living in our house and it feels like chaos

DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since my daughter from my first marriage came to live with me and my second husband, it has felt like World War Three. I’m 63, my husband is 65 and my daughter is 39. After her marriage broke up we invited her and her two children to live with us. I knew […]

DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since my daughter from my first marriage came to live with me and my second husband, it has felt like World War Three.

I’m 63, my husband is 65 and my daughter is 39.

After her marriage broke up we invited her and her two children to live with us.

I knew it would be a squash because my 29-year-old daughter from my second marriage is also living here with her boyfriend after they were made redundant.

But I didn’t expect the toxic atmosphere my youngest has created. It seems because the youngest was here first she thinks she has priority.

She is unpleasant to my eldest daughter and her children and constantly whinges about them to my husband who won’t challenge her.

I’ve told my younger daughter and her boyfriend they need to be more understanding but it hasn’t made any difference.

DEIDRE SAYS: Can you talk to your husband and explain how this situation is upsetting you?

Explain you are helping both daughters who are equal in your eyes.

Get him to back you up and sit down with your youngest – together. Remind her you didn’t need to take her in.

Ask her to make an effort or you’ll have to reconsider whether she can stay.

This will hopefully give her the wake-up call she needs to start being civil again.

I’m sending you my support pack on step-families to help you deal with these difficult dynamics.

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