Brooklyn Nine-Nine: 10 Funniest Jake Peralta Quotes, Ranked
With the makers of the beloved sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine announcing its culmination in the upcoming season, the fans would really miss every character in the show that made them laugh and think. Jake Peralta, who is the center of the storyline in almost every episode of the show, is definitely one of the fan favorites.
Jake communicates through jokes as he doesn't know another way of expressing his emotion. His witty dialogues coupled with wordplay are one of the striking features of the show, leaving fans crying with laughter.
10 "Fine. But In Protest, I'm Walking Over There Extremely Slowly"
Fans are aware that Jake is someone who doesn't like to be commanded by his superiors. This is well established in the first episode when Jake protested Holt asking him to wear a tie. This quote is from Season 1, Episode 5, when Holt asked Jake to turn over his findings to Vulture.
Since the Vulture always gets hold of cases when the detectives of the precinct almost solve them, Jake is against passing the case files to Vulture. However, he or Holt can do nothing about this, which is why he said the above quote and registered protest by walking slowly.
9 "The Doctor Said All My Bleeding Was Internal. That's Where The Blood's Supposed To Be."
Jake is an intelligent and committed detective, which is why he decided to continue his pursuit for the perp even after he injured himself severely during their first encounter. This quote was delivered by Jake on a hospital bed when Terry visited him.
The quote is hilarious as Jake was stating this to convince Terry that his injury is not severe and that he does not have to take time off from work. However, it clearly shows that his understanding of medical terms is not great.
8 "Framed! Art Joke. Continue."
Boyle meets Genevieve for the first time at the courthouse, where she was found guilty for stolen art and was sent to jail. Boyle however, was fully convinced that Genevieve was set up and tried to convince Jake about the same.
Jake delivered the above quote at this moment where he used 'framed' instead of 'set up' and felt proud of himself for cracking this "art" joke. The quote was hilarious even though Jake disrupted Boyle who was talking very seriously.
7 "I'm Gonna Keep Doing It Until You Guys Chime In. A-Noine-Noine!"
In Season 4, Episode 4, the squad is assigned the night shift that affected everyone's morale negatively. However, Jake is very enthusiastic as he and Holt just got back from the Coral Palms and he is eager to get back to being a detective.
Since everyone in the precinct is drained due to the night shift, Jake started motivating them, saying that he is always happy to be in the precinct whatever time it is. He then started saying 'Nine-Nine' to cheer everyone up, which didn't get reciprocated well. Jake kept saying it hoping someone will repeat it, and no one did and this made the situation quite funny.
6 "Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Me And Devon? Didn't You Mean 'Devon And I'?"
Jake and Amy were investigating their first case together as a couple to catch a drug dealer. Devon was caught for possession of a drug, and he cut a deal to lead the detectives to his dealer for lesser jail time. Jake said this quote when Amy was planning on how to catch the dealer without him noticing.
The viewers are all familiar with Amy's nerdiness, and when she says "me and Devon," which is grammatically wrong, Jake interferes and corrects her. Jake correcting Amy for a grammatical error was too shocking, which made the scene extremely funny.
5 "Great, I'd Like Your $8-Est Dollar Bottle Of Wine, Please."
It is very clear that Jake's finances are really messed up. He spends everything he earns on totally useless items like buying a Die Hard DVD every time instead of renting it.
In Season 1, Jake was at the bar and wanted to impress Holt by buying a bottle of wine off the top shelf. He realized it was 1600 dollars only when the bartender told him that. Immediately Jake said the above quote back to the bartender, asking him the cheapest wine as wine is not yet in Jake's list of useless things that he spends all his money on.
4 "I Swear, These Perps Are So Stupid. I'd Make A Better Criminal Than Any Of 'em."
Besides the irony in this quote of a police officer saying this, it has to be noted that this quote gave birth to one of the most loved traditions in the show- The Halloween Heists.
Jake said this when he came back to the precinct after catching a perp on Halloween Day. The perp was robbing a bank dressed in a banana costume. While trying to escape, he got stuck in the glass door of the bank and was arrested.
3 "If Anything, I See You As A Bother Figure, Because You're Always Bothering Me"
The fans of the show are quite familiar with Jake's father issues. As a result, when Holt came in as the Captain of the precinct, Jake started seeing him as a father-like figure.
One day, Jake had accidentally addressed Holt as "dad," and the whole squad started making fun of him. Holt also took this opportunity to annoy Jake and asked if Jake sees him as a father-like figure, to which Jake responded with this quote. The embarrassment on Jake's face made the conversation even more fun for fans.
2 "I Hope It Wasn't A Mistake, Title Of Your Sex Tape...Title Of Our Sex Tape!"
This is one of the iconic lines of the show. Jake used the "title of your sex tape" line to pull Amy's leg throughout the first two seasons of the show. However, when they got together in Season 3, they broke their rule and slept together.
Amy told Jake that she hopes it wasn't a mistake, and Jake replied impulsively with his catchphrase "Title of your sex tape" only to immediately correct it as "Title of our sex tape." While this scene was extremely funny, it was really heartwarming as well because the beloved pair had finally gotten together.
1 "Now Number Five"
Jake was investigating a murder and was questioning five suspects in the Interrogation Room. The victim's sister heard the murderer singing "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.
So, Jake asked all of them to sing the opening of the song. The viewers see Jake getting immersed in the song and forgetting that he was questioning them. He asked the fifth suspect to sing along with the song's music, which made this one of the most popular cold openings of the show.