20 thoughts I had while watching ‘Space Jam: A New Legacy’

I watched “Space Jam: A New Legacy” and had many thoughts during the process.

This past weekend, I watched “Space Jam: A New Legacy” twice: once in a movie theater, and once at home on HBO Max. I could have watched the movie with the intention of writing a super serious review after the fact, but because it was a sequel to a children’s movie that also didn’t change cinema as we know it, I jotted down every thought I had while watching the movie instead. Those thoughts are below.

SPOILER WARNING: This article contains spoilers for “Space Jam: A New Legacy” and “Avengers: Endgame.” Trust me, it will all make sense in the end.

1. LeBron could have played video games.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but LeBron James still would have been a four-time NBA champion and four-time league MVP if he played half an hour for Pokémon Red on the Game Boy every day. Like, Bronny James is literally a pro gamer and could play for any NCAA team in the country if he wanted to right now. Gaming is not a problem.

2. Hey, the Lakers’ championship ceremony is in this!

The opening credits was just a highlight reel of LeBron’s illustrious 18-year career and, to my surprise, his championship with the Lakers made the cut. Maybe I just don’t know enough about post production in movies and things like that, but I didn’t expect it to be mentioned so soon after they won it.

3. LeBron is a funny dude.

Was LeBron’s comedic acting in “Space Jam: A New Legacy” a little cheesy at times? Absolutely, but in the scenes where he just played an exaggerated version of himself, he was hilarious. The same can be said about his role in “Trainwreck.” He obviously knows how people view him, and it was cool to see him be a good sport about it.

4. This ‘move’ is bad.

“In, out, crossover, shoot” — that’s the move that LeBron has his movie sons work on at the beginning of the movie. With all due respect, that move ends in a turnover nine times out of 10. Then again, LeBron looking at the ball before he shoots the 3-ball shouldn’t work either, but it does.

5. Don Cheadle looks great.

Don Cheadle is turning 57 years old in November and you’d never guess by the way he looks. Like, he could feasibly do a War Machine trilogy with how well he’s aging. Good for him.

6. Dom Ball is just NBA Jam

That doesn’t make what Dom made any less impressive, but the creators would have a compelling case for a lawsuit.

7. Steven Yeun is in this movie?

I genuinely had no idea.

8. LeBron was too hard on Warner 3000.

Privacy and safety issues aside, Warner 3000 wasn’t a terrible idea for someone with a busy schedule like LeBron. There was no need for him to go as hard on it as he did. I get why Al-G Rhythm was mad.

9. What in the matrix hell?

Seriously, what in the matrix hell?

10. The TNT joke was 10/10.

“Bugs Bunny knows who I am?” LeBron asks.

“I may live in a hole in the ground but we still get TNT,” Bugs Bunny says while holding an explosive.

Classic.

11. Is Bugs drunk?

They don’t explicitly say he is, but it’s heavily implied that he’s tossed on some sort of fermented, carrot-based alcohol. Can you get drunk off carrots?

12. Al-G Rhythm is the movie villain; Bugs is the real villain.

He was willing to sacrifice actual human beings to play a basketball game with his friends! That’s kind of sweet, but also incredibly selfish!

13. LeBron as Robin is going to be a meme.

There are a handful of meme-able moments in this movie, but LeBron dressed as Robin is going to get a fair amount of use.

14. Damian Lillard and Dom James have a good relationship.

LeBron’s fictional son will be the reason Dame forces a trade to the Lakers next season.

15. The new Tune Squad jerseys aren’t that bad.

I hated them when they were first leaked but they honestly look pretty cool in the movie. I still think it would have looked better if the circle didn’t extend to the shorts, but I digress.

16. Michael Jordan is going to make a cameo!

Oh, how wrong I was, at least to some extent.

17. AD caught a stray!

“Ayo Brow, I think it’s time for you eyebrows to break up with each other,” James says. “They ugly. Let it go.”

18. I told you that move sucked.

If you know, you know.

19. Oh my god, is Bugs dying?

I thought Bugs Bunny was going to get a Tony Stark send-off, but thankfully he showed up at the end of the movie.

20. That was fun!

I had a good time and the kids in the theater seemed to really enjoy it too. Any serious analysis beyond that is lame.

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