My mum’s neighbour wants sex and I’m not sure I can resist much longer
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M playing a dangerous game with my neighbour. We’ve had a couple of passionate kisses and I’m doing my best to resist a full-blown affair but don’t think I’m strong enough.
I’m a single guy of 37 and I moved back to my mother’s house when I lost my job.
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Mum has only lived there for three years so I hardly knew her neighbours but we’d chat over the fence during the pandemic.
The neighbours are a couple with three kids. He’s 42 and she’s 40.
One Sunday afternoon while the husband was working and the children were at a friend’s house, she offered me a beer.
As she passed it over, she kissed me full on the lips. I was surprised but reacted instinctively by kissing her back, and I felt so turned on. I think it was the thrill of doing something so dangerous.
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Then she said: “I’ve been longing to do that for months.”
I was concerned Mum would see me, so after a quick chat I went inside. Mum was watching TV and oblivious to anything I was doing.
A couple of weeks later I bumped into my neighbour in a bar. She made a beeline for me and whispered in my ear that she wanted more.
She said her marriage was all but over and they never had sex any more. She said she’d never forgive him for insisting they put down her cat because it meowed too loudly.
That night we snuck outside for a drunken fondle at the back of the bar.
This woman is seriously hot. She has seen me at my worst, mowing the lawn in my scruffs or sitting on the step with a hangover looking bad, yet she still fancies me.
We’ve been messaging for weeks now. She’s just told me her family are going away this weekend but she can’t go due to her work shifts.
She wants me to go round there. I’m sorely tempted. What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t go. You’ll be complicating your life and making things very hard for your mum if word gets out.
If this woman’s marriage is over, it’s up to her to sort it out, not escape the situation by jumping into bed with you.
If she keeps asking you to go over, tell her you aren’t a marriage wrecker and not interested in becoming one. Encourage her to get some couples’ counselling with her husband if things are that bad.
If you’d like a relationship with somebody new, my support pack Finding The Love Of Your Life may help you to find a partner with less emotional baggage.