Mum asks if she is unreasonable for saying she’ll never charge her adult kids rent but not everyone supports her
IT IS a long-standing debate whether or not you should start charging your children rent as they grow up and get a job themselves. Some parents think it is a good idea to charge their children rent as they get older to instil the value of money and responsibility that comes with growing up. Other […]
IT IS a long-standing debate whether or not you should start charging your children rent as they grow up and get a job themselves.
Some parents think it is a good idea to charge their children rent as they get older to instil the value of money and responsibility that comes with growing up.
Other parents, see charging their children rent as a hinderance on their future and would rather their children save their money to put towards a house of their own.
One mum, who anonymously posted to Mumsnet, sparked a debate on the matter, when she asked if she was unreasonable for not making her kids pay rent.
The mum wrote in the forum: “I have a few friends who charge their adult children rent to live at home.
“I personally find this very strange, no matter their age, my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money.
“I think as well with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can do is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit.
“Am I being unreasonable?”
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One user wrote in response: “Stealth boast? Some of us can’t support another adult for free…”
To which the woman replied: “Not sure how it’s a stealth boast. It doesn’t make sense to me that you’d have children but the second they turn 18 you can’t afford to have them around anymore.”
Lots of parents in the forum said that it was difficult to cover all the bills or food for their adult children, and that they should contribute to the household.
One user wrote: “That’s all very well if you’re wealthy. We aren’t. So our adult dc, who is 21-years-old, who lives at home can’t live here for free!!! Why should we fully support another adult when we are struggling ourselves?”
Another person commented: “How will they learn to manage their money and budget if they don’t pay rent?”
A third person said: “Well because they are adults and contributing to the home is an adult responsibility unlike children. Not all families can afford to cover bills/food for their adult children, so if they’re earning, asking for a contribution isn’t a huge scandal. And in most cases it’s still less than market rent, so you can still put a decent chunk away if working.”
In response to people’s comments, the woman said: “I’m by no means wealthy, less than £100 left over each month. But I won’t top up my budget at the expense of my children. With regards to teaching financial independence- they budget an amount of £ each month to go towards a deposit and then they have to pay their bills (phone, car etc) so they are being responsible. Not like I’m letting them live here rent free so they can p**s all their money away.”
The woman added in a separate comment that she understands if parents are struggling that they would ask their children to contribute, but says her point was in relation to a friend of hers who charges their kids around £350 a month, whilst the children are trying to save for a house themselves.
She said in this scenario, it seems sad because they are not in a position where they have to charge their children.
There were also a lot of parents and adult children who agreed with the mum, saying they would rather them put the money towards a house of their own.
One user replied: “I’m with you OP, I don’t charge my adult children rent. It’s our family home. They pull their weight in terms of cleaning and cooking though.”
Another user commented: “My parents asked for a 10% contribution of my monthly wages once I was out of full time education and I never begrudged this. Why should I keep all of my money whilst my parents pay all the bills and do all the shopping etc. I was still able to save, enjoy my free time and it definitely taught me good life skills. Each to their own.”
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