Navy says lava field near base housing area may be unsafe
By W.E. Linde
JOINT BASE PEARL HARBOR-HICKAM, Hawaii — The Navy says there may be a slight possibility that enlisted military housing built atop lava fields on Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam could be considered “unsafe.” While almost certainly not the case, the finding by the base’s housing inspector is a setback as military officials attempt to address widespread housing issues some describe as “dangerous.”
“Of course we prioritize the safety of all our members above almost everything,” said Navy Capt. Clayton Mansion, the base housing director. “But I have my doubts there’s an issue. The golf course is only a few miles away from the Lava Fields Housing Complex, and I almost never hear shrieks of searing agony.”
The report came to light after a viral video of a move-in inspection showed molten rock flowing from a kitchen sink, a pantry filled with smoldering embers, and a backyard metal playset glowing red as it slowly dissolved in lava. A Navy official declined to provide specifics but said these were most likely purposefully installed design features that “went well with the whole volcanic theme” in Hawaii base housing.
“Even if there are some inconveniences on-base, our enlisted force has options,” said Capt. Mansion. “If they aren’t comfortable living in the lava fields, there are off-base, privatized military housing units available at Infestation Bay.”
Although military advocacy and veteran groups have largely demanded that substandard living conditions be swiftly addressed by the Department of Defense, not everyone agreed that this should be a priority.
“When I was still in the Corps,” said retired Gunnery Sgt. Jimmy McNair, “our housing units were built out of unexploded ordinance and 550 cord. You didn’t hear us bellyaching about it.”
Despite committing to “check it out,” the report also noted that military leaders were engaged in efforts to improve housing conditions and noted, “at least those houses were [almost] completely mold-free.”
W.E. Linde (aka Major Crunch) writes a lot. Former military intelligence officer, amateur historian, blogger/writer at DamperThree.com. Strives to be a satirist, but probably just sarcastic. Twitter @welinde