I’m a couples therapist – talking to your friends about your relationship could be harming it
IT TURNS out that the natural act of venting to your friends about your relationship can be harming it in the long run.
A couples therapist revealed the abovementioned action and several other behaviors can be putting your relationship in jeopardy and how to correct the problems.
The therapist, who goes by @relationship.therapist on social media, revealed four common behaviors that can be negatively affecting your romantic relationship.
First, she said not prioritizing your significant other over work, family, and friends can be a major red flag.
In fact, one woman revealed her relationship was on the line after her boyfriend became enraged at her for prioritizing her dog’s needs over his.
Next, the therapist said not creating “distraction-free” time with your significant other and “allowing technology to get in the way of intimacy” also causes issues.
This has developed into a problem in many American households as technology has become an everyday necessity.
According to a 2014 Pew Research Center survery, 25 percent of surveyed couples who were married or in a partnership admitted they “felt their spouse or partner was distracted by their cell phone when they were together.”
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The third action the therapist called on people to stop doing is “constantly” speaking about relationship issues with friends and family.
This builds resentment toward your partner from loved ones, which creates larger problems in the future.
Lastly, she said invalidating your partner’s feelings is a huge mistake, and on the flip side, becoming defensive when your partner provides feedback to you is also detrimental.
Rather than becoming angry, defensive, or simply ignoring your partner, the therapist said it’s important to validate your partner and connect with them on all levels.
The therapist’s advice spoke to many of her followers, as several thanked her for the information and shared their own personal relationship struggles.
“I remember all of this happening in a relationship and I got tired of fighting for something one-sided.
“I got tired of feeling uncared for,” one person wrote.
“Thank you for this.
“It’s extremely validating,” another user said.
One person, however, was skeptical about her advice and asked: “What are you supposed to do with [one-on-one] time without tech though?
“Eventually you have nothing left to say.”
In response, the therapist said: “Talk. Cuddle. Laugh.
“Make eye contact.”
Similarly, another relationship expert revealed that those fighting over the abovementioned issues and more can help stop the arguing – all it takes is one question.
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