I struggle to talk about Caroline Flack – we were like an old married couple and I still miss her, says Olly Murs

ALMOST two years have passed since the tragic death of Caroline Flack, but Olly Murs admits that his best friend and former “TV wife” is still never far from his thoughts. 

“I always think about Caz,” he says. “It’s still difficult to talk about her. I think of all the memories and all the great things we did together.

“She was such an amazing person, she really was. She wasn’t perfect but no one is. She was just Caroline. She was just the life and soul of the party. You walked into a room and you knew she was there because you would hear her laughing.

“We had our arguments, we had our disagreements, but we had our laughs. We cried together. We shared everything together. We were like a married couple at times, but we were best mates. There was never anything untoward. Everyone always thought we were together, and I think it’s great that people thought that. But we were like brother and sister, because we knew each other and we worked so well together. It’s a shame that we will never get the opportunity to do it again.”

Now more than ever, Olly is feeling Caroline’s absence, as he returns to his first prime-time presenting role since the pair’s ill-fated stint hosting The X Factor in 2015.

Critics were so savage, Olly had been reluctant to repeat the experience, but on Saturday, the 37 year old will take the helm of new ITV singing show Starstruck.

Poignantly, it comes just days before the two-year anniversary of Caroline taking her life – on February 15, 2020, aged 40 – something Olly is still trying to process.

Was he thinking about her on the Starstruck set? “One hundred per cent,” he says.

“Walking in on the first day and thinking: ‘Wow, this is weird. I’m presenting this big show alone without Caroline next to me…’ I hadn’t done any TV [since The X Factor] except being a coach on The Voice, and that is so different to presenting. It was very odd.

“I know if Caz was here, she’d be so excited about it for me. She’d be excited about the challenge and I’d be able to ring her up and speak to her about it. Caroline was brilliant at TV. I learned so much from her. She was just so natural and made it look easy. I have always been a sponge and when you’re with someone who is experienced, you take in all that information.”

Before her death, Caroline had a long battle with her mental health and Olly has never shied away from speaking about his own struggles, such as suffering a panic attack in his car when he found out that he’d got the job on The Voice in 2017. After seeking help, he was able to pinpoint the chronic anxiety as a reaction to the X Factor criticism and a fear of messing up.

“I genuinely felt like: ‘God, I’m putting myself back out there again on a big TV show.’ I’m not worried about being criticised, but I’d lost confidence. But you get over that hurdle. I don’t think there’s one person who hasn’t struggled, particularly in this industry, but there’s a stigma. I went to see a therapist years ago and I’m not scared to talk about that. Everyone goes through bad times, but if you’re in the limelight, everyone gets to judge you.

“It’s amazing and it’s financially rewarding and I’m very lucky, but it’s difficult at times. You walk into a room thinking: ‘Are people talking about me?’ Your mind goes a bit crazy. But you have to suck it up and know that people will say whatever they want. As long as I can look in the mirror and go: ‘I’m proud of who I am. I’m happy with the person I see,’ that’s the most important thing. That’s how I deal with it.

“Amelia [Tank, Olly’s girlfriend of two years] has been a massive help, too. Having the support of people who genuinely love you for you and not for the other stuff is massively important to me. And I’ve been very lucky, I’ve got a great support network that loves me for me.”

Olly’s eyes light up at the mention of Amelia, 29. The pair started dating at the end of 2019 before going Instagram official on New Year’s Day 2020. Describing her as “The One,” he admits losing Caroline just two months after they got together made him see Amelia in a completely new way as she helped him with the loss.

“Amelia’s been there for me through some really difficult moments over the past two years. When I heard the news about Caroline, I was away on holiday with her family, which they had paid for. I was in a really bad place – I was upset, grieving and I just didn’t know what was going on. I was going: ‘Oh my god, I feel like I’m ruining their holiday.’ But her family was so supportive. And she was so amazing. You just see a different side to someone and you think: ‘Wow, this person is just even more amazing than I expected.’”

The pair, who met at the gym, started  out as friends, as Olly was initially concerned about how bodybuilder Amelia, who also works in the City, would cope with life in the public eye.

“I was very worried. But she doesn’t want to be famous. She hates that side of it. She’s a bikini model but that’s not her full-time job. She works for a bank [as a communications manager] and has got her own career and her own life. She is not someone that wants to live off my name. She’s just really content being with me. We’re happy. We’re in love.”

Amelia moved into Olly’s Essex pad at the start of the pandemic – and the pair have only grown closer, despite all that enforced time together. 

“Lockdown was good for us,” he says. “We were only together for a short time and then she moved in. We know quite a few couples that aren’t together after lockdown, whereas we still love being around each other.

“It was lucky I have a house with space, as there were days that were a bit ‘urgh’ and we could get away from each other. I definitely sensed days when I walked into the lounge and I wasn’t her favourite person. You have your ups and downs, but you also have love. We very rarely argue.

I was very worried. But she doesn’t want to be famous. She hates that side of it. She’s a bikini model but that’s not her full-time job. She works for a bank [as a communications manager] and has got her own career and her own life.

Olly Murs on girlfriend Amelia

“I love Amelia. I have no doubt [there will be a proposal]. People keep asking me when, but it’ll have to be the right place and right time – we’re in no rush. A lot of my friends are having babies and it’s something we 100% would love to do. I’d love to be a parent. I’m 38 this year, and I’d like to think I’ll be a father in my 40s. I’d love to have all these little Murs kids running around.”

In the meantime, Olly’s focus is getting back in shape after the excesses of Christmas. 

“When I’m in my 40s, I want to look good. At Christmas, I eat what I want but then I enjoy being good and training. We’ve put in a gym at home. Amelia will say: ‘Come on, Olly, get up and do something today. Stop being lazy!’ And she’s right, you feel better for it. My New Year’s resolution is to do 365 days off booze. I just want to see if I can do it.”

But while lockdown brought him and Amelia closer together, there was no reconciliation between Olly and his estranged twin brother Ben, who now uses his wife’s surname Hart. The pair fell out when Olly missed his wedding while he was appearing on The X Factor in 2009.

“No, we haven’t spoken,” he says, with a sad sigh. “It’s just the same. I would have [reached out to him over lockdown] but I don’t have an address for him. I don’t have a way to contact him and he doesn’t have contact with me.”

It’s hard to believe it’s over a decade since Olly competed on The X Factor, finishing second to Joe McElderry – and even he admits that he never expected his career to last so long.

“Lockdown was a great time to reflect on my career. I’m very lucky to have been in this industry for 13 years now. I’ve sold over 12 million records, I’ve had four No.1s. I’ve done TV shows. I’ve been a coach on The Voice. That’s a massive achievement. It is more than I ever expected – I genuinely thought I had six months then I would be back to working in recruitment.”

Olly is also thrilled that fellow X Factor contestant Stacey Solomon, who finished third, has also become such a huge star.

“Me and Stacey got on so well, we were good friends on the show. I remember us being in the house together just before the final. Our lives were changing in front of our eyes and we were like: ‘What the f**k is going on?’

“Stacey always had such an endearing personality and people warm to her straight away. It’s great to see her career go the way it has. She’s only ever been real. She’s a fantastic mum, great on Loose Women, so good at Instagram and people are really seeing that she’s brilliant.”

As someone who has been so involved on The X Factor, as both a contestant and a presenter, how does he feel about it finally being axed after 17 years?

“I’m sad to see the show go, because it was so successful and for lots of people it changed their lives. It changed my life, and others aren’t going to get that opportunity now,” he says. 

“I just felt like the show had lost its mojo by the end. It was a big part of my life – I was almost a judge on it [he was offered the role in 2018 but decided to remain as a coach on rival BBC1 show The Voice] as well, and I would have loved to go back and work with Simon Cowell again. I have a great relationship with him.”

For now, though, Olly is focused on Starstruck – a reimagination of the ’90s hit show Stars In Their Eyes, in which contestants impersonate their favourite pop legend in front of the panel of judges, including Sheridan Smith, Jason Manford, Adam Lambert and Beverley Knight, to win £50,000.

“It’s everything I love – it’s a fun show that’s music-related. It just felt the right fit for me, and I enjoyed every second of it. The X Factor didn’t work for me because we were coming into a show that was pretty much Dermot’s [O’Leary], whereas with Starstruck, I get to put my stamp on it.”

Hilariously, Olly has even got his own impersonators too, with no less than three rival Olly Murs competing on the show.

“It was really lovely, but they weren’t the best – or I’m just not very good!” he laughs. “They caught me off guard, as a producer said: ‘We’ve got Elton John, Olly Murs and Lady Gaga.’ I said: ‘Are you serious?’ Each [Olly Murs] had different looks, too – one had a trilby, one had the quiff and one had blond hair. 

“I was buzzing about it, although Jason canes me for it. But I’m the host and I had my own lookalike! That proves that I’m a Jack of all trades – I can present, but I can sing and dance, too. I’ve earned the right to get my own Saturday-night TV show and I’m absolutely over the moon about it.” 

• Watch Starstruck, Saturday, 8.30pm, ITV and ITV Hub.