Five ways to cope with a broken heart when Valentine’s Day comes, according to a clinical psychologist

VALENTINE’S Day can be either the most romantic day of your life or it can be filled with angst and sorrow thanks to the reminder that you’re single. 

For those experiencing heartache this Valentine’s Day, a psychologist has shared four ways to cope in a healthy manner.

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Valentine’s Day can be brutal for those who are unhappy about being single[/caption]

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An expert suggested using the day to remember how valuable you are as a person[/caption]

TRY NOT TO MAKE RASH DECISIONS

Dr. Rumina Taylor, a clinical psychologist for online therapy service HelloSelf, said she often sees people make the mistake of jumping into a relationship so they’re not single on Valentine’s Day.

“Valentine’s Day can be a trigger for memories of a relationship that has been lost. 

“Heartbreak is painful and heavy and for some, it can feel like failure; that a relationship has not been able to be kept but instead ended.

“For others, it can lead to impulsive behavior,” she explained.

“Many people choose to enter new relationships on a whim as this feels like progress forward in the short term.”  

Dr. Rumina said these types of relationships don’t normally work out in the long run and can start an exhausting cycle of finding a quick fix and then ending up single again.

“Remember that to develop and build a loving relationship with someone, you need more than a day. 

“It may be helpful to consider that many others will feel like you about this day. It’s normal,” she added. 

FOCUS ON SELF-LOVE

Dr. Rumina said rather than jumping into a relationship with someone, take your time as a single person to reflect on your relationship with yourself. 

“You also need to be nurtured and Valentine’s Day can be the perfect chance to consider your own self-care and how to look after your needs,” she noted. 

“What can you plan that will give you a sense of pleasure and achievement? 

“Who could you connect or reconnect with?” she questioned, adding that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to just be about romantic connections.

“Many of us place more value on relationships with partners rather than friends and family,” she said. 

“These relationships are just as important and fulfilling.” 

REVIEW AND REFINE YOUR SELF-WORTH

“If you find yourself feeling sad or worried about your relationship status, try and identify anything running through your mind that might be causing these difficult feelings, ask yourself if these thoughts are facts or actually opinions,” Dr. Rumina suggested.

“Some people don’t feel worthy unless they have a significant other. 

“We know our self-worth is not solely dependent on whether we are in a successful relationship.” 

Instead of feeling sad about the fact that you’re single on Valentine’s Day, Dr. Rumina said to make use of your time and call out examples of the things that make you so unique.

“Try and recall examples of when you felt worthy that were separate from a romantic relationship,” she recommended.

“Setting time aside to reflect on these can be particularly helpful.” 

GET YOURSELF MOVING

“Sometimes we may need a push to get out of our heads and back into our lives. 

“If that’s the case, engaging in an activity that pulls us into the present moment can be useful,” Dr. Rumina explained.

She suggested trying an exercise class, watching a captivating movie, or practicing meditation – something that really focuses your mind on something else besides your singleness. 

And if non of the above-mentioned strategies have you feeling any better, Dr. Rumina said you can always meet with a therapist, like the ones at HelloSelf, to help you manage your concerns.

VALENTINE’S DAY DOES NOT DEFINE YOU

Finally, Dr. Rumina said that if you feel like you are truly ready to find a romantic partner, you can use Valentine’s Day as a starting off point.

“Plan the steps you would take to start the process [of forming a relationship] and make sure each step is small. 

“How can you meet people? 

“How could it feel relaxed and fun and not pressured and scary? 

“Who could you ask for help or advice?”

And if you do put yourself out there and it doesn’t work out, Dr. Rumina said you can use it as a learning experience.

“We are our best selves when we have the opportunity to learn,” she assured.

Overall, though, she said that Valentine’s Day is “simply just a day” and it does not define you or your entire romantic life. 

“Love can be expressed any time, any place, anywhere, on any day,” she stated. 

“Valentine’s Day will come and go often like our feelings do. 

“Also remember that you are so much more than that.” 

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Dr. Rumina said exercise is a great way to get your mind off of being heartbroken[/caption]

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She reminded people they don’t need someone else to make them happy[/caption]