I judged a girl in my daughter’s class for being so large – I feel bad for her but it’s a sign of neglect
HAVE you ever looked at an overweight child in the school playground and unconsciously judged their parents?
That’s what happened to one mum, who posted on Mumsnet’s Am I Being Unreasonable? forum about the situation.
“At school pick up today I noticed a new girl in my daughter’s class was in the line waiting to be collected,” she wrote.
“She is a very heavy set little girl, they are all in year 1, so still very young but this particular child looked far bigger and sadly really stood out.
“I found myself feeling so sad, wondering if she will settle in OK and then irrationally annoyed at her parents for putting her in that position.”
She continued to explain that she felt worse for the girl considering she herself had been “quite a chubby child” for some of her time at school, and can still “recall the taunts vividly”.
“It made my school experience pretty horrible so I think I have quite a skewed view on this in fairness, it hits a nerve,” she added.
“I had a word with myself for being judgemental and not knowing the situation and I know it’s none of my business, but I wondered if I’m just a horrible person or if anyone else feels a pang of sadness for these kids and (rightly or wrongly) finds themselves blaming/ judging the parents.”
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The comments on the post were largely mixed, with one person writing: “Yes, it’s a form of neglect.
“The number of children who have an actual, genuine health condition contributing solely to their weight (Prader-willie, e.g.), will be very tiny…….”
“I’ll admit, I do judge,” another added. “My kids don’t have a perfect diet but are all slim.
“They have sweets, chicken nuggets, chips, puddings etc. Regularly so I do wonder what on earth people are feeding their kids for them to get so big.”
“Yes I do silently judge the parents (even though I know there will be occasions when I am wrong to do so),” a third person commented.
“That said I think modern children are far more accepting of difference than was common when I was young.
“And being an overweight child is quite common these days so hopefully there will be little or no teasing and more acceptance – at least til the teenage years.”
“Yes. It’s neglect if not outright abuse,” someone else added in another comment.
“They’re going to have a hell of a struggle ever reaching and maintaining a healthy weight as an adult if they’ve grown up thinking obesity is normal.”
The original poster also added in a comment on the post that the girl was “very overweight”.
“She’s easily twice the size of my 3st very tall daughter. 6st or so, I’d hazard,” she wrote.
“Her uniform was obviously bought so it fits her width but it was far too long, poor thing.”
Others insisted the woman was wrong to judge, with one writing: “I’m not going to lie but years ago I would have. I know better now.
“There are many many reason why a child is fat… You never know what is happening in people’s lives.”
“You don’t judge anyone for their weight or body shape, whether they’re 4, 14 or 40. It’s a horrible way to view the world,” someone else added.
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