Kurt Zouma should be prosecuted for cat abuse video but at some stage we all need to move on
SHORT of punching a baby, Kurt Zouma couldn’t have done much more to make himself Public Enemy No1.
The West Ham and France footballer booted his cat. Even worse, he did it here, on the home turf of a nation of pet lovers.
As such, we have taken it upon ourselves to give him the sort of kicking he gave his poor Bengal — albeit figurative.
Party-loving Boris Johnson must be weeping with joy into Larry the Downing Street cat’s Whiskas — the lockdown-smashing PM is off the hook.
There’s a new scumbag in town, a new witch-hunt underway.
But in a democracy that prides itself on forgiveness and rehabilitation — why else would we bother with prisons otherwise? — there doesn’t seem to be much of either going on right now.
German sponsor Adidas has dropped Zouma over his animal cruelty.
The same Adidas which was sued by vegan charity Viva! USA in 2003 over its alleged use of kangaroo leather in some of its products.
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He’s been fined a maximum of £250,000 by his club, and will spend the rest of his years trying to repair an indelibly damaged reputation.
He probably won’t succeed.
Aged 27, Kurt Zouma’s name will now for ever be prefixed by the words “cat-kicker”.
A cursory glance at his Wikipedia, and beneath the standard footballer sections “style of play”, “international career” and “personal life” boldly sits a new header: “Animal abuse”, and a detailed account of the events still unfolding.
Zouma has been trolled, abused, fined and, if the RSPCA has any bite, may be convicted for his crimes against cats.
For the record, I think he should be prosecuted.
I generally prefer animals to humans, and think anyone who abuses an innocent little creature, one who cannot speak out, fight back or seek refuge elsewhere, should have the book thrown at him.
And if Naomi Campbell can spend five days doing community service for hurling a mobile phone at her housekeeper, then the very least Zouma can do is a few days at Battersea Dogs & and Cats Home. (Supervised — I wouldn’t want him near a feline otherwise).
After all, this is a man who described his two pets as being “loved and cherished”.
Imagine being loathed by Kurt Zouma.
But, and this is a big “but”, at some stage we need to move on. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
This relentless pursuit of Zouma — and imagine the effect this is having on his loved ones, those who are utterly blameless but, doubtless, still getting abuse — won’t unkick the cat.
RELENTLESS PURSUIT
The shellshocked creatures have been taken away for safe-keeping, and the man himself has apologised profusely, both privately and publicly.
Lessons have been learned from this sorry saga.
Namely that social media will be the downfall of us all. It was Zouma’s fellow footballer brother, Yoan, who originally filmed and posted the horrific footage on Snapchat.
He has since apologised for his part in proceedings.
But it’s too little, too late.
Two men cruel enough to find enjoyment in drop-kicking cats were always likely to be stupid enough to post the offending footage online afterwards.
Time and time again we are seeing footballers caught out on social media – lying, cheating, drinking.
Kicking and slapping a defenceless cat is a new low.
Yet Snapchat bosses are probably rubbing their paws with glee at such exposure.
While he licks his wounds, the question for a civilised society is: When do we stop kicking this horrible cat-kicker?
Single but not
TELL me you’re single on Valentine’s Day without telling me you’re single . . .*inserts pic of Valentine’s Day card from my dog *
FML.
Colin & Colin
lIN a bid to shamelessly cash in on the pink pound show their support to the LGBTQ+ community, M&S released a “limited edition” gay Colin the Caterpillar to mark February 14.
For ten quid, then, fans of all sexual persuasions could have their own cake and eat it.
Which is all very well and good.
Except, it turns out, caterpillars are “sexually immature” and don’t show any sex-specific features until they turn into butterflies.
But, hey, let’s not have facts get in the way of marketing optics.
What a rotten chap
THE cancelling of comedians is no laughing matter, as Jimmy Carr will testify.
But hot on the heels of the un-PC comic – a man who “joked” the deaths of thousands of gypsies was a “positive” of the Holocaust – is Charlie Chaplin.
(Which is no mean feat given he’s been dead 44 years).
How long until the cancel culture vultures sink their beaks into one of the planet’s most famous men? I give it a week.
A new documentary, The Real Charlie Chaplin, details how the silent movie star had three teenage wives and wooed his first, Lita Grey, when she was 12 (and he 32).
Which, however you look at it, isn’t funny at all.
Weight is over for Em
FOR most of us, the past 12 months have been punctuated by the number of Netflix series and lateral flow tests ticked off.
Emma Raducanu’s timeline is a little more . . . starry.
Over 12 months she’s . . . deep breath . . . nailed her A-Levels (an A* and an A), won a Grand Slam, shot a Vogue cover, signed multi-million pound sponsorship deals with Dior, Tiffany & Co, Evian and Vodafone, been crowned Sports Personality Of The Year and trademarked her own name.
Now she’s been filmed in the gym grinding out 200kg hip thrusts.
Which is a timely reminder that Emma’s apparent overnight success is, actually, anything but.
This is a young woman who has spent countless hours, days, weeks and months slogging it out in the gym.
A young woman who’s given up boozy nights out in All Bar One to hone her sliced backhand.
And a young woman who’s incredible, inspirational success has been born out of years of grind.
Let her now enjoy the trappings.
Erin’s a star
WHILE the aforementioned Emma is busy conquering the world, I, too, have not been wholly unproductive.
Yep, I’ve ploughed my way through another TV series – BBC1’s Chloe.
A creepy, six-part “psycho-drama”, it stars the truly talented Erin Doherty.
The 29-year-old from Crawley, West Sussex, purloins every scene she’s in.
Fans of The Crown may recognise her from the most recent series, in which she played – again, brilliantly – Princess Anne.
Hollywood beckons.
Let us drink
CAN so-called medical experts make up their minds?
First paracetamol is hailed for its miracle ability in the fight against Covid.
Now it’s being demonised after a study suggested it can increase the risk of heart disease and strokes in people with high blood pressure.
The same goes for coffee and alcohol.
One week they’re the elixir for eternal life, the next they up the risk of dementia/obesity/global poverty/Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
Just let us drink.
An anti-climax
HEADLINE of the day courtesy of yesterday’s Times.
“China removes orgasms and lesbians from Friends”.
Miserable (and doubtless male) streaming platform bosses in China have altered subtitles in the cult US comedy, avoiding all references to women’s sexuality.
So, a scene in which Ross notes “Women can have multiple orgasms” becomes, and I quote: “Women can have endless gossips” [sic].
LOL. Unless you’re a Chinese woman.