Lockout Cryptosoxery #10

Wisdom from the unManfred

This week’s edition of Cryptosoxery has an admittedly tenuous link to the White Sox, but a whole lot of linkage to the current goings on, or non-goings on, in baseball.

First, though, the answer to last week’s quiz, spoken by none other than the man who led the new class of members of the South Side Sox Hall of Fame:

I need all that weight in the middle to keep my balance. — Wilbur Wood

Yes! At last! An explanation we all can use when we grow a belt size or two. Or 10.

Also, hope for all who resemble the Pillsbury Doughboy more than Adonis, that they, too can become professional athletes — and damned good ones at that. Wood led the White Sox out of the wilderness of 1970 as soon as Chuck Tanner had the good sense to move him out of the bullpen and into the starting rotation ... starting with four straight 20-win seasons, in all of which he pitched more innings than an entire starting staff does these days.

Yeah, sure, Wood threw a knuckleball at Little League speeds. Pitchers are all allowed to do that. They just can’t. So, thanks, Wilbur, and congrats on the SSS Hall of Fame. And also for being listed in Baseball-Reference as weighing 180. Maybe they meant kilos.

On to our new cryptoquote, spoken — or written — by a man whose only tie to the White Sox was a decision not necessarily popular with White Sox fans, but who is to Rob Manfred as Leonardo da Vinci is to Homer Simpson. It’s a quote suitable for the current period of heartbreaking baseball inactivity:

AUQ MLJQ TQMFGP FG PEIFGM, HUQG QNQIVAUFGM QRPQ TQMFGP LMLFG, LGX FA

TRSPPSJP FG AUQ PKJJQI, DFRRFGM AUQ LDAQIGSSGP LGX QNQGFGMP, LGX AUQG LP

PSSG LP AUQ YUFRR ILFGP YSJQ, FA PASEP LGX RQLNQP VSK AS DLYQ AUQ DLRR

LRSGQ. — L. TLIARQAA MFLJLAAF

That’s a nice long quote, giving you plenty of sample size to work with. For those new to the game, cryptoquotes are simple letter substitutions, the same ones throughout ... all the Y’s may be F’s, the U’s R’s, etc. You solve by looking for the most common letters — Wheel of Fortune favorites (and you don’t even have to buy the vowels!) and Scrabble one-pointers — and then finding common words.

The answer to this week’s Cryptosoxery and a new quiz next week. As always, thanks to the folks at wordles.com (as best I know, no relation to the current game fad) and their magic encryption machine.