Seth Meyers Reimagines a Tucker Carlson Rant as a Spiraling Speech About Ruby Tuesday Restaurants (Video)

Seth Meyers took “A Closer Look” at various right-wing news theories on Monday’s “Late Night,” managing to mock — with his impressions — two Fox News hosts, former president Donald Trump and the MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell.

But it was evening host Tucker Carlson that Meyers really dove into for comedy, turning his theories about potential government intrusion on American’s private lives into a rant about Ruby Tuesday, Applebees, and Oreo cookie shakes.

Before launching into his bit, Meyers played a clip from Carlson last week, where he said there was a coincidence in timing between when the government’s COVID-made emergency powers waned and a push “for conflict with Russia. And then,” Carlson continued, “on the basis of that conflict, they assumed historic war powers. Virtually no one has paused to ask him or herself where this might be going. How long until our leaders do something similar to their domestic enemies here in the United States? How long before they accuse you of collusion or disloyalty or some other hard-to-define crime? Declare you an enemy of the state and then confiscate your bank account?”

And it was Tucker’s line of questioning that prompted Meyers’ own take — but about restaurants.

“How long before they declare you an enemy of the state? Confiscate your bank account? And how long until they take away your 15% friends-and-family discount at Ruby Tuesday’s even though your cousin worked there [their] entire summer? And how long before they tell you you can’t go to Ruby Tuesday’s anymore?” Meyers asked to laughs. “You can only go to Ruby Monday’s even though it’s your constitutional right to go to Ruby’s any day of the week. And how long before the waitress tells you you can’t have an Oreo shake because that’s something that only exists at Applebee’s. And how long after you politely suggest they just put Oreos into a blender does she say, ‘Can we please not have this conversation again?’ And after you push past her and run to the kitchen with the Oreos you have hidden in your pocket with a full intention of making your own are you wrestled to the ground by a teenage busboy who is way stronger than he looks. And how long before that busboy looks in your eyes and says I worked with your cousin. He was a dickhead too. How long?”

Watch Meyers’ full “A Closer Look” segment above.