I’m never good enough for my mum – she always favours my brother and sister

DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother has always favoured my brother and sister over me. Now we’re adults, she still treats me differently – even cruelly – but denies it. She’s 55. I’m a 28-year-old woman with a good job and my own flat. My brother and sister are 30 and 24. But nothing I do or […]

DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother has always favoured my brother and sister over me.

Now we’re adults, she still treats me differently – even cruelly – but denies it.

She’s 55. I’m a 28-year-old woman with a good job and my own flat. My brother and sister are 30 and 24.

But nothing I do or say is good enough. She criticises my appearance but if I buy nice clothes she tells me I’m extravagant.

I’m just the black sheep and I don’t know why.

Recently, my grandma died but she wouldn’t let me go to the funeral. My brother and sister both went. It hurt so much.

Now I think I should cut her out of my life for the sake of my mental health.

DEIDRE SAYS: Giving birth doesn’t make someone a good mother.

Sometimes, it is healthier to cut cruel, controlling people like her out of your life so you can flourish.

For support, contact Stand Alone, which helps adults who are estranged from family members (standalone.org.uk).

The charity Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 01708 765 200) can help.

Read How To Cope With Difficult Parents by Dr Windy Dryden and Jack Gordon.

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