14 Ways to Achieve Immortality That Will Totally Work, I Swear
Ocean quahogs can live to be over 500 years old. These clammy assholes spend centuries doing nothing but burrowing into the ocean floor and filtering algae out of sea water. People, on the other hand, only get like 78 years before we die! This is not fair.
Personally, I live actively in defiance of death, and I will…