I might break up with my boyfriend as he only lasts a few seconds in bed
DEAR DEIDRE: EVERYTHING would be perfect in my new relationship, if only my boyfriend could fully satisfy me sexually.
We enjoy lots of foreplay but he just can’t manage to keep his erection.
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I’m a woman of 21 and he’s 23. We’ve been seeing each other for three months.
Oral sex is fine, but he gets so nervous about intercourse that he either only lasts a few seconds, or he can’t perform at all.
I know he really fancies me, he says he’s more attracted to me than he has been to any of his exes.
I’ve tried everything – taking it slow, talking, telling him it doesn’t matter – but the truth is I’m starting to feel fed up.
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He’s begun avoiding intimacy because he’s scared it will happen again. I’m worried we’ll break up.
How can I help him so that we can enjoy a full sex life?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Most erection problems in young men stem from a psychological issue, rather than a physical one.
Your boyfriend’s inability to stay erect is almost certainly down to nerves. And it’s a vicious circle: the more he worries, the more it will happen.
My support pack, Erection Problems, should help. Also see the Sexual Advice Association site (sexualadviceassociation.co.uk).
A good tip is to agree not to have sex again for a few weeks.
Focus on kissing and cuddling and massage. Then his erections should return naturally, and his confidence should come back.