The joy of naked treasure runs in Elden Ring
Slight story spoilers for Big George’s Ring Fit Adventure Elden Ring, probably.
The lumbering forms of Elden Ring’s trolls disguise an ancient melancholy. Turned traitors in the war between demigods and giants, their reward for loyalty to the Golden Lineage was an eternity in shackles, used as frontline fodder in bloody conflicts or beasts of burden hauling funereal carriages around the Lands Between. Since learning their history, I often muse sadly upon it, as I weave between their horribly gnarled legs in my freshly tarnished underwear and hoover up the shiny objects scattered underneath their feet.
I’m on my second run of Elden Ring now, progressing slowly and methodically, examining every statue and reading every spell description. But the first time through, the need to cram the whole content buffet in my face at once got the better of me. Underleveled and underprepared for most areas, I developed the winning strategy of stripping down to my burial rags for a speed boost and streaking through the wilds, shoving everything valuable down my pants.