I stay with my abusive and cheating partner for the sake of our son

DEAR DEIDRE: I STAY with my partner purely for the sake of our son. My partner puts me down and has a vile temper. Now, after all my sacrifice, I’ve discovered he’s been sleeping with his brother’s ex and is planning to push me out of our home. I’m 32, he’s 35 and we’ve been […]

DEAR DEIDRE: I STAY with my partner purely for the sake of our son. My partner puts me down and has a vile temper.

Now, after all my sacrifice, I’ve discovered he’s been sleeping with his brother’s ex and is planning to push me out of our home.

I’m 32, he’s 35 and we’ve been together for nine years.

At first, he seemed like a perfect gentleman. He’d open every door, pull out every chair and constantly check in with me.

But six months on and the act started to wear off.

He started having these huge mood swings, where he’d scream and shout about the most insignificant things.

I was considering leaving him as I knew I deserved better. But then I discovered I was pregnant.

I grew up in a single parent household, and didn’t want that for my child, now seven. So we stayed together and I put up with his behaviour.

I was miserable but decided I would try to do as much as I could on my own while also presenting a family image to everyone else.

He often gets right up in my face and screams obscenities — even while my son is present.

Every day, I found it a struggle to motivate myself to get out of bed, but I did it for my son.

Then, last month, I was clearing out the garage when I found a phone tucked away on a shelf.

Every single message on there was from my brother-in-law’s ex-girlfriend.

They detailed raunchy nights away together and even plans to leave me.

My partner was plotting to push me and my son out of our home so he could move this woman in.

I’m furious. He’s treated me like dirt for years, and now this.

I know I need to leave, but I’m worried this is going to make life miserable for our son.

DEIDRE SAYS: No wonder you feel so low; you’re not being true to yourself.

You have put your happiness aside for your son’s which is very admirable but kids are often a lot more aware than we realise.

Your son will be picking up on the tension between you and your partner.

I’m sending you my support pack, When Parents Fall Out, which explains the effect on your son in more detail.

You deserve someone that is going to treat both you and your son as you deserve.

Please consider going for counselling to work out your next move.

You and your son deserve happiness, and staying with a man whose behaviour is abusive is damaging for you both.