Not Even Gay Dumbledore Can Save ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore,’ J.K. Rowling’s Latest Mess

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore follows in the footsteps of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald in that just as that 2018 predecessor featured virtually no crimes, this third installment in the Harry Potter prequel franchise boasts no genuine secrets. The revelation that Dumbledore is gay is both not a bombshell (since it was overtly implied by the last film, following years of public declarations by J.K. Rowling herself) and the sort of tepid eye-opener that only the most die-hard of Potterphiles will care about—something that can also be said about the endeavor as a whole. Functional yet never magical, this perfunctory bit of IP exploitation is a reminder that all good things come to an end, even if the powers-that-be keep milking them for all they’re worth.

Directed by David Yates, who’s now helmed the past seven series entries and could likely use a new sandbox in which to play, The Secrets of Dumbledore includes neither trans characters nor anti-trans sentiments, which should keep it from taking center stage in creator and co-writer Rowling’s never-ending TERF war. What it does have, mercifully, is a considerably less convoluted plot than The Crimes of Grindelwald, which tangled itself up in knots to no appreciable end. Rowling and franchise vet Steve Kloves streamline their script as much as is humanely possible, thus providing a measure of momentum that was absent from the prior outing. In terms of pace, the film proves relatively swift, and if it still gets bogged down in a few unnecessary detours, it generally maintains course throughout, culminating with a sweet and satisfying coda.

Picking up where The Crimes of Grindelwald left off, The Secrets of Dumbledore finds Hogwarts professor Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) enlisting beast whisperer Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), his brother Theseus (Callum Turner), muggle baker Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler), and two additional wizards—Lally Hicks (Jessica Williams) and Yusuf Kama (William Nadylam)—or a world-saving assignment: thwart the plans of Gellert Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen), who wants to wage war against humankind in order to solidify magical people’s place atop the evolutionary food chain. Dumbledore can’t personally take down Grindelwald because, when they were young lovers, they struck a magical pact that prevented them from engaging in direct combat—a convenient twist (carried over from the last film) that’s further complicated by Grindelwald obtaining and killing a magical creature that gives him the ability to see into the future. To cope with that situation, Dumbledore concocts a scheme which none of his accomplices understand completely, thereby creating confusing moves and motivations that Grindelwald can’t decipher.

Read more at The Daily Beast.