I always lie to my partner and it results in huge blow-ups
DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T stop lying to my partner – it’s like the words fall out of my mouth before I can stop them.
He’s caught me a few times and it’s always resulted in huge blow-ups. But then I do it again.
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I’m 29, he’s 36 and we’ve been together for eight years.
When we started dating, I’d tell him little white lies to keep the peace.
But over the years, they’ve grown bigger and bigger.
My biggest lie is not telling him about the rise in our rent, which recently went up £250.
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I didn’t want him to feel under pressure.
I’m a stay-at-home mum, so he’s always working overtime in his job as a plumber to earn enough to cover our rent and bills.
I’ve taken out a loan to cover the extra money.
Please help. How do I break the news to him? And how do I stop lying?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You try to protect him from financial worry by lying – which, when he finds out, makes him worry more and you feel increasingly concerned for his reaction.
Simple strategies to change this pattern will help you both.
A counsellor could work with you both to come up with other ways to tackle financial issues.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
My support pack on Counselling shows where to find someone local.
Check out moneyhelper.org.uk, which has tips on boosting your income and paying off debt.