I’ve been a bridesmaid over 125 times – people always want to know the same 10 things
MOST women will get to be a bridesmaid once or twice in their life.
But this women made a career out of being a professional bridesmaid and has done it over 125 times.
It’s safe to say Jen Glantz is a bit of a wedding pro by now, with years of wedding experience under her belt she revealed the things everyone wants to know about weddings.
She explained to Insider: “I’ve become an answering machine for a variety of wedding-party questions, ranging from how to say no to the person getting married to navigating financial issues.”
Can I say no to being a bridesmaid?
Of course, no one can make you be a part of their wedding party.
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It can often be pricey to be involved and being the centre of attention isn’t for everyone.
Jen recommended making a list of the reasons you don’t want to be involved and talking them through with the couple – “and be prepared for them to ask follow-up questions,” she said.
What if I don’t like my dress?
If the bride is generous enough to pay for your dress, makeup and hairstyle, you can let her know that you don’t feel comfortable with the choices, but do it discreetly.
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If you’re paying for your own dress you should have more of a say, even if there is a strict theme to follow.
What if I don’t get along with the other bridesmaids?
If it’s just another bridesmaid you don’t get along with, you can probably avoid them more easily, but if it’s the maid of honour that you can’t stand that can be more ticky.
Jen said: “If you’re not getting along with those people, identify why and have a conversation with them to see how you can get on the same page (hint: You both want to support the couple).”
Can I say no to crazy requests?
The pro bridesmaid explained that you should never feel pressured in any way.
That said, it’s important to communicate this with the couple and be clear about why you don’t want to do something, whether that’s an outrages cost or time.
What If I can’t make the hen-do?
Jen says: “After you say yes to being a part of the wedding party, try to get all of the essential dates as soon as possible, and let the person know which events you won’t be able to make and why.”
If after that it’s a problem for the couple there is a chance they’ll ask you to no longer be a part of the wedding party, but most likely they’ll try to accomodate.
What if I don’t get a plus-one?
Being a bridesmaid doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get a plus-one.
It all depends on budget, location and the size of the guestlist.
Jen said: “If you weren’t told you can bring anyone that’s most likely intentional.
“If you’ve been dating someone for quite some time and really want them to come, you can share that with the couple, but be understanding if they can’t accommodate the request.”
How much should I spend on a gift?
If you’re part of the wedding party, chances are you’ve already spent a fair amount on various pre-wedding activities and of course, your dress.
If you did put a lot of time, money and effort into all of that, there’s no requirement to bring a gift too.
“In the end, give what you can, even if it’s just a handwritten note. But don’t feel like you have to shell out a bigger gift than you can afford,” Jen shared.
What if I can’t afford to go to the hen-do?
With lots of brides opting to fly overseas for their hen-do, it’s no surprise that this question crops up so often.
Jen said that there’s no pressure to go, just let the bride know as soon as possible.
She added: “As a way of still showing up for them, think of one low-cost way to celebrate with them before the big day.”
Can I let loose at the wedding?
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While you probably wont want to get too drunk, you can definitely take some time to enjoy yourself when the big day rolls around.
As part of the wedding party you’ll have to pose for photos and help the bride with small tasks throughout the evening – like navigating using the loo with her dress.