South Carolina might rename their mascot ‘Cock Commander,’ but we have some other ideas

We need to name this cock.

Every once in a while we’re hit with some serious mascot drama in the sports world, and now it’s found its way to South Carolina. The Gamecocks are being forced to change the name of their longstanding mascot Sir Big Spur due to disputes between the prior owners of the rooster and the new owners.

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Sir Big Spur, pictured here looking terrified while Shane Beamer offers him for sacrifice, is being rebranded before the start of the season and there are already some very good names being being voted on over at The State. Naturally the current vote leader is absolute perfection, but something tells me the school will be too afraid to make this one permanent.

The world might not be ready for “Cock Commander,” but there are some really great alternatives here. Cluck Norris is obviously very strong, but here are some other ideas we came up with that could really help South Carolina out.

• Mother Clucker
• Cocky McCockface
• Swole Cock (okay not this)
• General Tso
• Cockovan (Pronounced like coq au vin)
• Captain Combhead
• Big Toe Joe
• Gamey the angry bird
• Flapper
• Shreddy the fighting cock although we are contractually obligated to remind fans that fighting animals is both illegal and morally wrong
• Mr. Grumpy Chicken
• Scratchy

If you use any of these we’re good South Carolina. If not, just don’t pick something boring please.