I’m trapped in a relationship with a hysterical partner and I’m falling for her cousin – but I am scared to leave

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been trapped in a relationship for six long years and want out.

My partner uses every trick in the book to stop me from leaving.

I am 32 and she is 30. She smashes my valuables, threatens to have me beaten up or self-harms whenever I tell her I want to end things with her.

Now it has all got more complicated – as I think I’m falling for her cousin and we’ve been messaging each other for the last couple of months.

We met last summer at a family party and really hit it off.

We ended up sharing a moment – a bit of a kiss – and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since. She is 27 and we have plenty in common.

She has made it clear nothing can happen as long as I’m with my partner, but I can’t get away from her.

I’m experiencing feelings that I haven’t had in years.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not fair to either of you to stay purely because you’re scared of what your partner might do if you leave.

Don’t give in to her emotional blackmail.

You have every right to end this relationship.

Give yourself time before you embark on a new relationship with your partner’s cousin though.

Even a relationship you want to be out of is a loss, and takes readjustment.

My support pack Ending A Relationship will help you.