My boyfriend has no drive or ambition – should I dump him?
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM not sure whether to ditch my fella. He lacks drive and ambition and the more it goes on, the longer we’ll be stuck living with my parents.
I am a 28-year-old woman and he is 31.
I am employed full-time but he doesn’t work.
He’s such a mummy’s boy and has only had two short-term jobs in his life.
He was made redundant at the start of the pandemic and moved into my parents’ home. I keep suggesting jobs but he always has an excuse.
After work, I get home feeling tired but he as not even organised dinner.
He’s sitting on his Xbox and I get the feeling he’s been on it all day.
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I’d like to start a family within the next few years, but he doesn’t think we’ll ever be able to afford kids.
That’s the one thing I want in my life – to be a mum.
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DEIDRE SAYS: If you continue to support him to do nothing, that is what he will do – nothing.
It can be difficult to find work but to not even apply for jobs shows a lack of ambition.
If you want this relationship to continue, he has to show up and bring something to the table.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Explain you need to see some motivation on his behalf for your relationship to work (my support pack on Looking For Work will help) and give him a time limit to sort a job out.
If nothing changes in the next few months, and to avoid a life of regret and resentment, you will need to accept it is over.