There Are 5 Erotic Love Languages, Which One Is Yours?

You’ve probably heard of the five love languages, which are used to describe different ways to express and receive care and support in a relationship (physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service). 

But, have you heard of the five lust languages? Yes, that’s right, sex experts have outlined the core ways we express (and like to receive) sexual desire.

Though these five categories, called “erotic blueprints”, are less well-known than love languages, they could be just as important when it comes to sexual satisfaction. 

The concept of an erotic blueprint was coined by the somatic sexologist and educator known as Jaiya, who has spent decades researching the science of arousal and pleasure. According to Jaiya, an erotic blueprint is a map of what turns you on — and off. 

Just as love languages are intended to help us understand how we give and receive love, erotic blueprints can show us how we experience arousal. 

Knowing your erotic blueprint can help boost your self-awareness in the bedroom, improve communication between you and your partners, and give you a better understanding of what excites you — and why.

Below, the sex experts at the sexual wellness and education site delicto.com explain what you need to know about erotic blueprints. 

What Are The Five Erotic Blueprints? 

There are five erotic blueprints: sensual, sexual, energetic, kinky, and shapeshifter. Most people identify with one or two erotic blueprints more than the others, but it’s common to relate to certain aspects of all of them. The blueprint that resonates with you the mostis your primary erotic blueprint, the style that reflects your biggest turn-ons.

Sensual

The sensual erotic blueprint is all about igniting the senses. What you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch is key when it comes to feeling aroused. If you have a sensual erotic blueprint, you’re more likely to be particular about your environment when you have sex.

Aromatic candles, a warm bubble bath, and a tidy bedroom are all things that can make the sensual type feel turned on and ready for action. 

Someone with a sensual erotic blueprint might also like to explore stimulation in areas of the body aside from the genitals. Other erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, backs of the knees, and ear lobes are all potential kryptonite for the sensual type.

Some examples of make-or-break turn-offs for sensual folks are:

• A messy room 
• TV or music on in the background 
• Odd smells in the air 
• An aftertaste in your/your partner’s mouth from eating or smoking 
• An environment that feels too warm or too cold

Sexual

This straight-to-the-point erotic blueprint is laser focused on nudity, orgasm, and the genitals. If you have a sexual blueprint, seeing a picture of your naked lover might be all you need to go from zero to 100 on the arousal meter.

If your partner has a sexual erotic blueprint, it doesn’t mean you should put less effort into turning them on, just that it might be easier to do so! Taking off their clothes (or your own), touching them, and kissing them could be a surefire path to arousal, regardless of your surroundings. 

Whereas a sexual type might not mind making love in a cluttered room, the sensual type could find arousal elusive. 

A few things that might turn off the sexual type are:

• Prolonged anticipation (they can only take so much teasing!)
• Insecurity about their body 
• A partner’s insecurity or inhibitions 

Energetic

For those with an energetic blueprint, anticipation is everything. It’s the longing that revs the engine of the energetic type, making foreplay particularly important for this style.

Teasing, flirting, and building excitement for the sex to come is almost as arousing (if not more so!) as the sex itself. That’s why sexting can be a go-to arousal tool for the energetic. Getting hyped up via sexy texts and pictures before a face-to-face encounter can ensure an ultra-horny hook-up. 

Here are some mood-killers for energetic types:

• Skipping foreplay
• Feeling rushed to orgasm 
• Limited flirting before sex
• Fear of dirty talk 

Kinky

The kinky erotic blueprint revolves around what polite society typically deems taboo or sexually deviant. People with this style often explore role play and detailed sexual fantasies that depart from the “vanilla,” or mainstream.

Wax play, bondage, and experimenting with power dynamics may all be found in the kinky type’s arsenal of arousal. While folks in this category might not need kink to become aroused, exploring these desires can help them experience deeper, more intense excitement.

Some surefire ways to turn them off are:

• Disinterest in exploring kinks/fetishes 
• Closed-mindedness  
• Refusal to try sex toys
• Consistent vanilla sex (kinky types like to switch it up!)

Shapeshifter

This style brings a little of every blueprint to the table. The shapeshifter feeds off the energy of their partner and often derives the most pleasure from seeing them turned on.

The shapeshifter is very adaptable and intuitive and can weave in and out of each sexual style in response to their partner’s arousal. If you’re a shapeshifter, you might feel most excited when you adapt to the blueprint of your partner, match their mood, and play into their biggest turn-ons.

Any of the turn-offs listed above might apply to shapeshifters, too, but two things that might kill the mood are:

• Quiet lovers (they want to hear you enjoying yourself!)  
• Lack of enthusiasm (remember, they match your energy!)

Of the five erotic blueprints, there might be one or two that you relate to most. Or maybe you’re unsure about which sexual style describes you best. Even if you’re still exploring what excites you the most, an understanding of erotic blueprints can help you pay attention to how your unique sexuality works, and what’s at play when you feel most aroused.